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Herbie: The Car That Fucked a Girl
by Molly Lambert
I was cruising the wordpress top posts to see who was beating us other than those goddamn LOL cats (they’re irrepressible!). Alex somehow managed to get Fanny Howe to a respectable 94th, and I was impressed with one challenger to our throne of endless knowledge, whose post comparing various indie rock bands to their college football counterparts leapfrogged to 12th place for the day. I also learned this bit of info from ONTD.
Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston will star in Marley & Me, the Fox 2000 adaptation of John Grogan’s bestselling memoir about an incorrigible Labrador retriever. David Frankel, who last directed The Devil Wears Prada for the studio, will helm; Scott Frank is working on the latest draft of the script.
Wow! Sounds mediocre! Man, The Devil Wears Prada was really the shittiest movie ever.
Marley is the yellow lab adopted by Grogan, a columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and his wife. Their idea was to give them a taste of parenthood, but the dog proved to be a hyperactive handful. He wreaks havoc, gets kicked out of obedience school and gets even worse when the children begin to arrive, yet becomes an indispensable part of the family.
That sounds like something out of Doug Benson’s “I Love Movies” column from the Davebob Odencross website. Let’s just list actual examples of Doug Benson being funny, all taken from one a year old.
YOU, ME AND DUPREE – You and Dupree can do whatever you want, just leave me out of it.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA – Number one on my list of movies not to see!
MONSTER HOUSE – Hey, that’s what I call my girlfriend’s vagina!
MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND – A comedy for both men and women who hate fun.
KEEPING UP WITH THE STEINS – Ew. But starting with a J.
JUST MY LUCK – Another magical switching places story starring Lindsay Lohan, who should’ve switched into another movie (like FREAKY FRIDAY II, or MEANER GIRLS, or HERBIE: THE CAR THAT FUCKED A GIRL).
Asleep On A Sunbeam
I would never pay to see that Labrador movie because I don’t like dogs (no offense to Jennifer Aniston) but if it’s ever on TV there’s like a 90% chance I will watch it just because it stars my favorite actor Owen Wilson. I just watched the first part of Anaconda the other day, which I’d never seen, up until the part where Owen Wilson dies. I have also been known to watch The Haunting just up to where Owen Wilson gets beheaded by a giant swinging stone lion pendulum.
A pre-decapitation Owen in The Haunting
I remember reading an interview with him where he talked about showing up on set for Anaconda all pasty and chubby and the director got furious because they’d hired him to be a shirtless hunk. So he is wearing these oversize shirts instead and it’s really funny. Also, Anaconda is fucking ridiculous.
Owen Wilson billed lower than Eric Stoltz, who is a nasty ginger
I watched You Me and Dupree not too long ago On Demand. It was pretty horrible, minus a few laughs, but made a thousand times better by the fact that Kate Hudson’s character’s name was “Molly.” I understand this is a personal obsession. It’s just an example. I’m sure you have one too.
always Dignan in my heart
I just always find Owen Wilson hilarious, the same way I always find LOL cats adorable. I know the Wilson brothers love a paycheck but is it too much to ask that they not make movies about incorrigible labradors?
Now if it were an incorrigible cat instead…
Texas Tornado – Doug Sahm: mp3
Dalhart Texas 1967 – John Fahey: mp3
Asshole From El Paso – Kinky Friedman: mp3
From West Texas – Explosions In The Sky: mp3
Molly Lambert is the incorrigible, irrepressible Senior Editor of This Recording.
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I think the message here is clear. We should compare indie rock bands to more unrelated things.
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