In Which It’s Not The Weed, Man, It’s Real Life Trippin You Out

More On The Future: Still Weird

By Tess Lynch

“This Is The Day” — The The (mp3)

“Green Grass of Tunnel” — Mum (mp3)

#1

If we clone the Beatles, are they in SAG because the real Beatles were probably in SAG? Or do they get vouchers for print ads?

Remember when everyone freaked out because scientists cloned Dolly the sheep back in 1997? And it was of no consequence, really, and then she died young? Now there’s other stuff to worry about that will probably be of no consequence either; in any case, I’ve dug up some Wiki articles and paired them with some of my favorite Worth 1000 photoshopped masterpieces.

“Radio America” — The Libertines (mp3)

“Long Distance Run-Around” — Red House Painters (mp3)

Brain Uploading

The Blue Brain Project at the Swiss Federal Institute addresses a common human need: mapping our own brains so we can make robot brains that function like ours. One problem: whether to move/destroy the original brain, and how much like the person whose brain was copied the robot would wind up being, once it had its own robot experiences.

#2

Lovely legs on ginormous bugs.

Close The Oxygen Bars

Scientists say (yak yak yak, those scientists) that if there were more oxygen in the air, we’d have enormous bugs crawling and buzzing around earth.

#3

But where are the giant these guys?

“Grey Gardens” — Rufus Wainwright (mp3)

We’re talking hawk-sized, apparently. So breathe lots.

Hide The Cave-Aged Gouda

Stow all your good Trader Joe’s cheeses because the rodents (and to a lesser degree, snakes) are the least likely animals to become extinct; and we can expect a lot more of them in the future, especially the new species that they will “genetically whip out” (says scientist).

#4

That’s when you’ll be glad you got a cat.

“We Were Meant To Be” — Hefner (mp3)

“True To Life” — Roxy Music (mp3)

The Future Of Pear-Shaped Women

Since I vaguely remember a conversation with a friend on the way back from Las Vegas a couple of years ago that centered around future humans looking like alien “Grays,” I guess I should admit to Rosie that MSNBC agrees with her, maybe. Our eyes will become huge and cute from our long history of domestication, which is nice to hear, because I have these huge sunglasses I’m planning to wear then.

“Black Balloon” — The Minders (mp3)

#5

“I have this great condo in Florida.”

“Hey Sandy” — Polaris (mp3)

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7 thoughts on “In Which It’s Not The Weed, Man, It’s Real Life Trippin You Out

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