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“All Those Things That Seemed So Important/Well They Vanished Right Into the Air”
by Alex Carnevale
From all evidence, a top notch guy.
It is unfortunate that my views on religion basically come down to, “If it makes you feel good, go for it.” I suppose I view it as hedonism, which I am incidentally not entirely opposed to.
I felt this way only until I started seeing these ads on the subway for a new church with locations on Wall Street and in Greenwich Village.
So basically do you really want to be Vincent Van Gogh–a penguin–or do you want to worship Christ like the rest of our multiethnic worshipers?
Like all good cults, the River has a shitload of investors and a general, pleasant mission.
“Long Forgotten Fairy-Tale” — The Magnetic Fields (mp3)
Good lord. Sorry, Lord.
“From Alienation to Safe Relationships” — Charles Park (mp3)
Does this make you think of God? No? Just wait a second, the Flash intro will provide another image. Seriously, though, Lenin?!?!
I mean, crap like this really makes me admire Catholicism, which is at least upfront about what religion is–a systematic way to punish yourself so you don’t become Owen Wilson.
The quote’s actually from Coriolanus. Another subway quote is attributed to Hamlet. Maybe they think Hamlet is a real person. It’s one thing to be ignorant of all culture before your organization existed, but it’s an entirely different thing to advertise it.
From what my crack new research intern Barclay Memphis has told me (Welcome, Barclay, if you were hotter we’d have your picture on the sidebar), the managers of this “Church” are basically ex-business people. The Kids Life minister studied film and television production at Boston University.
I’m not saying theological seminary is the answer, but I usually like my ministers to have a more impressive education that my own.
Barclay is himself multiethnic, although I am not exactly sure what his ethnic composition is yet.
We’ve been talking on the phone a lot about River for this article, even though this article has little to no research in it. Barclay and I have already started getting our cycle at the same time…
How thoughtful, ad wizards.
This isn’t the only new-age feel-goodery with designs on your walletz and pocketbookz, but judging by their advertising budget, the next new power group may be young professionals whose engagement with religion rivals their engagement with a social networking site of some kind.
Facebook itself could become a kind of religion we suppose.
I am sure River will be very popular with young professionals who wish to unburden the pain of their boring lives onto pastors with degrees in economics. Religion as permission to feel and act as you already do isn’t religion, it’s more like religion’s aunt, who gives you bad presents on your birthday and in a grass-is-greener way seems more awesome then your judgy mom, but when you stay with your aunt you’re freaked out by her connections to hedge funds and resemblance to a cult.
Alex Carnevale is the editor of This Recording. Molly has been pacified with Darjeeling, we are all the same now. Thanks to Barclay for his help with this piece.
“Bright Side of the Road” — Van Morrison (mp3)
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
Molly wasn’t there, man.
We wished you a happy Valentine’s Day.
Andy took you on a time-travel journey for the ages.
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you just wish you had hottiez like mine on your Ministry Staff
Comment by charles park November 28, 2007 @ 1:06 am