The Other Woman Is Perfect Where Her Rival Fails
by Molly Lambert
“We look hot.” “So hot.” “Luv u bb.” “U too betch.”
“WTF are you wearing Nat?” “WTF are YOU wearing Scarj?”
“I just love an uncircumcized penis. I think it looks like a little sweater made of skin. My boyfriend Van Wilder’s a total goy from Canada. How about you, Natalie?” “I don’t really care either way, just as long as his you-know-what isn’t crooked. I really hate that!”
I’m not the first one to make the voice comparison between Obama and Dwayne Johnson. Maybe Southland Tales was more prescient than we thought. On that note, I think Barack and The Rock are both super hot. Have you seen The Rock on a talk show? He is so adorable and funny.
dress from the Angela Chase collection
The Rorschach Test school of political thinking:
The whole “Rorschach Test” thing is getting a lot of press lately. You see in whatever those things you want to see. Britney is Bush, Angelina is Barack Obama, Barack Obama is Jesus Christ, Hillary Clinton is your mom, Hillary Clinton is your menopausal boss from hell. None of any of this is true. It’s more complicated than that.
dress from the Elegant Cocktease Shoppe
At least Max made us lol with Hillary Clintones. Are you with it for reesies? Imagine if every time your phone rang you got to hear the gently badgering voice of the woman who reminds you so much of your mother you’re scared to vote for her. What are you, worried the nation will turn out as fucked up as you are? Text RODHAM 2!
Raúl Castro is El Maricón? Allen Ginsberg and Andy Warhol both thought so, and their gaydar was as sharp as their brains.
Courtney Cox, being thinspirational
You look fabulous! Did you have a little tapeworm over the break?
BY COLLEGECALLGIRL AT 10:31 AM
McSweeney’s is like that pretty cute guy you take home from the bar one night only to find out that he looks weird without his glasses and can’t get it up.
“I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.”
Rihanna pulls a Gretchen Wieners.
“Suck my left one, Lindsay Loserhan!”
“No, I don’t think I ruined the Star Wars franchise. It was that fucking Jumper chach, okay?”
Tim Gunn and Larry The Cable Guy come from different worlds but they make it work somehow.
“Did you steal that dress out of Chloe Sevigny’s reject pile” “Where’s that potato sack from, Chico’s?”
To commenter Chuck, who said “Hate men much?” No, Chuck, I don’t much hate men. Or rather, I don’t hate most men. Just the ones raping girls with gun barrels and burning hot coals. Hope that clears things up for you. Kthxbai!
We kid. (O ho.) Diablo’s no dirty old woman and whatevz I was obvi a total Juno in junior high, sans pregnancy. (They used to call us Darias!) So on that note, there’s a new Portishead album coming out in April called Third!
Also Scarlett’s boo Ryan Reynold’s as Deadpool, will.i.am. as Wraith, and Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth?!! God this movie is going to be so unbelievably homosexual. Just like Hugh Jackman.
Oh and Watchmen is in post. The art direction on that looks pretty great, from some earlier stills I saw of the set.
Britney won’t get visitation rights, at least not yet anyway.
RIP Lydia Sum aka Fei Fei.
Women do seem to have a different notion of friendship. In the research literature, their bonds are described as “face to face,” meaning they share feelings more intensely. Male relationships are “side by side,” less touchy-feely and built around activities like sports or work.
Stop snitching, Serpico!
A Pentagon mental health survey of American soldiers and marines in Iraq, released last year, that showed that more than half of respondents would not turn in a fellow service member for mistreating an Iraqi civilian. More than 40 percent of those surveyed, the Pentagon reported, said torture should be allowed to save the life of a soldier or marine.
Our Exquisite Ginger Taste Will School Yr Face
Eric Bana: “Hey ladies. I starred in Munich, and I’m not even Jewish!”
Have some Fast Hugs.
Oh Julia, Julia, Julia, Allison. We’re really sorry that your lame ex-boyfriend Jakob Lodwick’s mom Andrea (who has a media studies degree!!!) still reads your blog and has her own (tumblr!) blog. That must be weird and icky. If there’s anything we learned in 2007, it’s that relationships + web 2.0 equals messy disaster splayed out for anonymous rubberneckers.
Molly Lambert is the senior editor of This Recording. Jealous?
MUSIC FOR WHAT RYAN REYNOLDS’ FACE FEELS LIKE
More Aretha outtakes for those quiet times:
“Tree of Life” – Aretha Franklin (mp3)
“Love Letters” – Aretha Franklin (mp3)
“I Want To Be With You” – Aretha Franklin (mp3)
snap the full album up here
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:
A Rose For Emilys
The Sparring Couple
Claire plays Fuck/Marry/Kill with the candidates