In Which A Friend Makes A Choice And You Have To React Really You Have No Choice But to React

Hopefully this answers critics who claim I don’t feature scantily-clad men. If that doesn’t give you womenfolk a boner, I don’t know what will. Actually, wait, yes I do.

So there’s this thing called the Idiotarod. You may be familiar with the Iditarod, which is some kind of competition for white people. The Idiotarod is also a competition for mostly white people, but the word mostly is key.

The Idiotarod is ostensibly a shopping cart race. Unfortunately, a close friend of mine mans the shopping cart in this picture.

At first I was skeptical, but supportive of John’s passion for shopping cart racing. I figured it was only one day, and it would pass, like his obsession with the Wii, which lasted all of five minutes until he exchanged it for an XBox 360.

When he told me he was headed to Washington D.C. to participate in that iteration of the Idiotarod, I was privately furious. For one, this only bonded him closer to his Idiotarod colleague. We both like to pull John in different directions. I like to pull John towards screenplay writing and matinees of Anthony Minghella films. My competition likes to pull John towards potentially fatal shopping cart races and World of Warcraft.

Finally, though, the pure fun of the Idiotarod won me over. I mean, in what other event…oh who am I kidding, I hate World of Warcraft, and I hate my friends’ other friends. It doesn’t even really matter who they are. I should be the only friend that’s important.

On the plus side, I have discovered there is an essentially endless panoply of jokes surrounding this event.

John: What are you up to tonight?

Me: Not much, but shouldn’t you be getting ready for your flight?

John: Flight?

Me: You know, for Idiotarod Milan. Idiotarod Tokyo. Idiotarod Mos Eisley.

I could go on and on. The number of cities I know is almost endless. Kitty Hawk. French Lick. Providence. See!

“Ben Franklin Forever” — Shout Magic 

“The Seaboard” — Shout Magic

Shout Magic website with other free songs and cool stuff

“Love Seat” — Shout Magic 

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