In Which There Was A Time In Which My Cousin Vinny Was All We Really Had to Know of the World

“Strange Powers (live)” — The Shins

Sometimes I think we are very lucky to have been the only people in human history who can claim that they grew up in a time in which video games first appeared. The world of simulations has a rich future. Indeed, at some point it may replace life altogether.

There would be no having this web alter ego. I would be my own alter ego, cocky, self-effacing, and yes with a penis beyond human description.

Some very sick people think that Mario is giving little Yoshi the ride of his life. I beg to differ. No sex. No sexual undertone.

Everyone used to have their stupid fucking birthday parties at this weird arcade/pool hall. They had Super Nintendo in this weird white room. I wasn’t permitted to have the original Nintendo, a mistake that led me to books. What a waste of time that was.

I can never get that into video games, because I am easily frustrated by not succeeding in them. This, incidentally, is the reason that very few women played traditional video games. Not that I am casting asperions.

My cousin Eric had a Genesis and when we visited my mother’s sister, we macked on it hard. Knuckles soon became everpresent and the Genesis with the soft controller was automagically better.

Then Street Fighter came. Oh did it come. And it came hard to the SNES, so you had to get SNES.

Damn, how hot was Chun Li later on? Go Chun. Pretty soon there was a bajillion Street Fighter clones.

Come on. Not cool. Back away now, Leonardo. You’re fucking average, okay!

I remember the day that was Nintendo 64. A 3D universe. I mean it was so far ahead of anything done on the Super Nintendo that it just blew your mind. That’s still an all-time great game.

“If You Could Read Your Mind” — Clinic

Zelda was a fun game in all its incarnations. The first one they did on the N64 suddenly become something I had to take very seriously.

At the same time we had our sports fun.

More on this later when I have more time. You know, there’s not enough love in the world. I’ve learned that. That is all.

And oh my god, the newest South Park 24 parody is begging for a recap.

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