In Which We Salute The Fallen Young Men and Women of This Episode of Lost

Cheney on Lost: We Have Lost (ha) Official Count of the Weeks and Are Now Counting Down to Charlie’s Impending Doom, Juliet’s Impending Reveal, Kate’s Impending Pregnancy, and Locke’s Impending Journey

by Vice President Dick Cheney

It’s good to sit down for a good old Lost jaw session. You know what I’m talking about. What’s going on.

As always we look to the geniuses of the unofficial Lost messageboards. When people look back on Lost, it’s going to be hard to know what was what and who knew who. I mean, watching this week’s episode of The Riches was tough enough. I thought I was part of the con. That Minnie Driver has the wiles and stuff. Add that to my love for LaKisha Jones, and Wednesdays are hard.

For instance, who else will record that someone actually thought this.

I find it extremely hard, if not impossible, to believe that Ben just “happened” to be listening to Juliet’s traitorous tape-recording right when Locke walked up in plain view. Ben’s too crafty for that. I am sure that he has a bigger plan in mind, and knew Locke would steal it and run right to the survivors with it.

Thanks for playing. And what of this, flight oceanic 815 crashed and everybody’s actually dead? What do Juliet and Jack know that no one else does?

I have a hard time believing Cooper is dead. Sawyer didn’t choke him long enough.

Dude, Locke was carrying him in a bodybag. Dude!

Reportedly, their secret is “that they have a plan that has to do with the cable that is running out into the Ocean. Jack believes that the cable just needs to be connected for the communications to be re-connected. The Cable in the Ocean is the key. From what I hear Charlie will somehow die (electrocuted) trying to connect it. ”

Take that for what it’s worth. I have a hard time believing that, but hey, that’s why there are theories. People are usually looking in the wrong places on messageboards. That’s what they are for.

This is going to be the famous Lost is back episode and I bet the show does well leading up to its finale. It’s going to be so hard for them to come up with fresh material for season 4 that I almost wish the show would end.

Shit, suddenly this got sadder than a casualty report.

Dick Cheney, a regular contributor to this recording, is the vice president of the united states.

“Green of My Pants” — Red Krayola

There’s nothing quite like old avant garde rock. We recommend it.

Quoth wiki:

They make noise rock, psychedelia and occasionally folk/country songs and instrumentals in a DIY-punk fashion, an approach that presaged the lo-fi aesthetic of many 1990s US indie rock groups. Reviewing the band has produced conflicted results- in a extremely positive review from Pitchfork Media, critic Alex Lindhardt wrote “It’s a band that has no idea how to play its instruments. In fact, they don’t even know what instruments are, or if the guitarist has the ability to remain conscious long enough to play whatever it is a ‘note’ might be.” He added, “This is a band that was paid ten dollars to stop a performance in Berkeley. If Berkeley’s not having it, you know you’re in for rough sledding.”

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