In Which It Is Repeatedly Elton John’s Birthday Into The Wee Hours Of The Morning

This one’s not Elton, even though it kinda looks like him. This is Brittany Murphy. The difference is narrowing.

 

But let’s settle down and discuss the poppiest gay crooner, the man with the golden voice and decent to good piano playing skills, Elton John.

Besides Stargate Atlantis, which, let’s face it, is probably the funnest thing ever, second is this Elton John special that the local UPN is playing.

Basically for Elton’s birthday they put together a collection of concert clips. The people in the crowd are absolutely hilarious. Half are dressed like Elton, and I don’t mean current, tasteful Elton.

“Sad Songs (Say So Much)” — Elton John

“Goodbye Norma Jean” — Elton John

I’d always wondered what kind of fans Elton had, and the truth is pretty much everybody is an Elton fan, except short people. Short people are antagonized by Elton.

For the most part you want your recording artist to appeal to both sexes. Elton even appeals to Native Americans.

Here’s another classic Elton performance.

You can use his songs for everything. You can get excited by them. You can get depressed by them, often in the same song. Bernie Taupin wrote most of the gold ones, but the non-Bernie material isn’t even that bad. He has a great catalogue and he’s a great stage performer and it’s not like watching Wayne Newton or Barbra Streisand where you realize there’s about $1.2 million in plastic surgery that could self-destruct at any moment.

This birthday special they’ve been running endlessly on the local channel has been everything you can ask for in a bloviating documentary about a pop star. Speaking of which, what happened to Behind the Music. They did a pretty funny SNL parody of that. Figure out what happened to Cracked magazine and view the video here.

The older he’s gotten, the more androgynous he’s started to look, and that’s all for the better, too. You can imagine him babysitting your kids, or fucking a plant. Either is equally likely.

It’s also OK for straight guy, especially those of my generation, to like Elton because I mean come on, Can You Feel The Love Tonight? Sure it was ’94 and I was already eleven, but hey, lion love (straight outta Lionton) be real love, too. And we were like young lions, then, weren’t we? Elton kinda looks like a lion.

“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” — Elton John

Collaborations with Timbaland and covers of Nick Drake only endear Elton further to us. He shall live forever in our silver pendant, where we keep that picture of him with Rod Stewart.

“Sasong” — Evey Tare & Kria Brekkan

“Levon” — Elton John

This is such a gross wedding.

Michael Cera getting fired from Knocked Up! Really and truly!

“Empty Garden (Hey Hey Johnny)” — Elton John

3 thoughts on “In Which It Is Repeatedly Elton John’s Birthday Into The Wee Hours Of The Morning

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