In Which Molly Has To Post While We Figure Out How To Solve The Greatest Puzzle Of Our Lifetime More On That Later

 

Unsupportable Statements!

by Molly Lambert

Did you know Paul Rudd is Jewish? That explains why he thinks he has to be funny. Obviously he’s already so cute no one would ever expect that he also be funny. He’s like a hot Michael Chabon. Or Will Hubbard. (W. H. is not Jewish, obviously). My friend is seeing “Knocked Up” right now! I will report back with her report. The New Yorker already loved it though they bring up the same claims of “women are responsible, men are pot-smoking retards” stereotyping. Anyone who knows me will be fully aware which of those camps I realistically fall into.

Have you seen “Mindfreak?” The opening credits are the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. How can somebody take themselves so seriously and be a fucking x-treme magician? He’s all dressed up like “The Crow” walking through the desert like the Wayne’s World 2 Jim Morrison acid trip while a Perry Farrell type rap rock song plays, presumably with Criss Angel’s own vocals, going “I am the miiiiiiiiiiindfreeeeeeak! There’s no reaaaaaaliiiiiiiity.” Criss Angel is the Dane Cook of magic.

This brings me to some other statements I feel I have to make at this time.

T-Pain is the Sugar Ray of R & B.
Beyoncé is the Lightning Bolt of R & B.
R. Kelly is the modern day Chuck Berry.
Bjork:Kelis.
Pharrell: Chad Hugo :: Wes Anderson: Owen Wilson

Al Gore really looks like Gary Sinise these days.

The best film critics are women.

I’m eating some soy cream. It’s delicious, even if it tastes a little bit like a melted scented candle. Peace, yo.

Molly Lambert is this recording’s seniorest contributor. She lives in Echo Park, California.

“All Across the City” — The Dreamers

“Hours” — TV on the Radio

“Come My Darling Polly” — William

3 thoughts on “In Which Molly Has To Post While We Figure Out How To Solve The Greatest Puzzle Of Our Lifetime More On That Later

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