In More Innocent, Pre-J. Lo Times
by Molly Lambert
“You know, I always thought Matt Damon was kind of a Streisand, but he’s rocking the shit in this one!”
Apparently Miramax golden boys and Oscar winning screenwriters Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are finally “writing” another movie.
Here they are surfing with their hot wives in Hawaii, where they are on a “writing sabbatical” to work on their new screenplay.
Hollywood lore has it that Good Will Hunting was heavily rewritten, like unrecognizably, by William Goldman. If you remember back to the interviews Damfleck did (I do) they were always telling people that the movie was originally about a math genius janitor who becomes a rocket scientist for NASA. Now that sounds like a movie two out of work actors from Boston would write.
And naturally Robin Williams was improvising in every scene. He doesn’t know how not to. It’s getting very sad, and it’s the very saddest when clowns cry. This may tie back in to my fear of circus horror.
William Goldman is credited with the phrase (regarding film) “nobody knows anything,” which is spoken at some point by some person in every documentary about film ever made. Goldman wrote/adapted Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President’s Men, The Princess Bride, and Misery. None too shabby.
But he’s also responsible, along with director Lawrence Kasdan, for Dreamcatcher, which is not only the worst Stephen King adaptation ever, it may be the worst film in history. Imagine all the elements of a good Stephen King story. Boyhood trauma, car wrecks, Magical Negroes (quintessential M.N. Morgan Freeman riffing on Colonel Kurtz), and spiritual forces, possibly alien in nature.
Now wrap them around a story involving Donnie Wahlberg as a M.R. (Magical Retard) and tape worm monsters that are swallowed and then (fatally) shat out by actors like Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant and you will have this cinematic abortion.
Studio City, respect
Now there was a solid gold script. But Boogie Nights is such a perfectly fluid unification of film elements, you barely even notice the great script. P.T. Anderson dropped out of film school and made films with the viewer’s knowledge that was the hallmark of the third wave indie directors of the nineties. He’s friends with Quentin Tarantino, which makes sense because they’re both Southern California natives and total video store geeks.
cool neck beard
Ghoulardi: Probably A Pretty Cool Dad
Apparently Ghoulardi was a big influence on the eighties “Weird Midwest” music movement. Bands like Devo, Pere Ubu, and the Cramps were fans.
Speaking of early modernist TV personalities. Ernie Kovacs pioneered surrealist sketch comedy.
Ernie as poet Percy Dovetonsils
a Percy Dovetonsils poem:
The moon is full of craters
It has some mountains too,
But because there are no people,
No one goes to the Zoo.
The Many Faces Of Ernie Kovacs
Kovacs also invented a lot of camera tricks and effects that are still commonly used in TV. He understood that TV was a medium with its own unique strengths and helped push the visual aspects of the artform.
Classic Sketch “The Nairobi Trio”
Did you know Sacha Baron Cohen has a brother named Erran, who performs world music under the name Zohar and scored Borat? And how about their cousin Simon, the esteemed autism researcher? Ashkenazi Intelligence?.
Speaking of which, who is the cuter swarthy foreign comedian with a super hot accent?
Molly Lambert is the senior contributor to this recording. Respect.