I am the world’s foremost expert in the subconscious so it is no surprise that the Times has already begun to parrot me. Nearly everything I do emerges somehow from my subconscious. For example, last night I lied to Dan Murray about something. I don’t even know why I did this. I thought of a couple possible reasons, though:
1. I wanted him to like me.
2. I wanted him to hate me.
3. I hate myself.
4. I think I’m hilarious.
5. The Yankees acquired Wilson Betemit.
6. He didn’t like Flight of the Conchords. (Hardly an offense, the last episodes have been brutal)
7. I was put in awe by his virility and Hollywood connections and felt I had to live up to it.
8. The opposite of number 7.
“Heart Condition” — The Softies (mp3)
Certainly, it could have been any of these reasons. Again, Dan doesn’t have a lot of Jewish friends, so perhaps I wanted to undermine my own people. That could be it, too.
Awesome Behe vs. Dawkins correspondence.
Anyway, in other news, the literary magazine Otoliths has just published a poem of mine, titled “Matisse.” Go ahead and read that here and you can tell me how pretentious I am later after we’ve had a few drinks. The rest of the issue is sublime. Also the cover image is spectacular.
“Levelland” — James McMurtry (mp3)