In Which We Know Who Killed You

Double Standards & Split Personalities

by Molly Lambert

What it would have looked like if Molly had blogged in college

Exhibit A:

This makes me so angry!

Exhibit B:

Rich from fourfour is a genius.

Dina Lohan, betch

That study makes perfect sense in light of La Lohan. She is the paradigmatic Angry Young Woman. Even Angelina Jolie in her “dangerous” phase was not this dangerous. Lohan is a volatile type in the Brando mode. Johnny Depp and River Phoenix blew coke and trashed the Chateau Marmont too, but they didn’t inspire fear in hotel staffs the way Lindsay does. Russell Crowe doesn’t inspire fear the way Lindsay does. Photographers and journalists may have disliked Sean Penn, but his bad reputation only helped his career. For a guy who hates being famous so much, he sure married Madonna.


Lohan needs to divorce her parents. Especially Dina. Michael I’m less worried about. Dina is a monster, a stage mother in the Mama Rose mold. It’s hard enough breaking away from your parents when they’re not giving interviews to InTouch. Stage mothers are scary because they basically have Munchausen Syndrome of the ego.

Linday’s lil’ sis’ Ali – oh my god betch

I don’t feel bad for Lindsay. She’s coddled and not as good of as an actress as I may have remembered. But she is the flip side to the Myth About Boys, debunking the myth that girls are somehow less “difficult” than boys. Habits tolerated and glamorized in our male movie stars are apparently not for women to sully themselves with. We know boys and girls are different, female outcasts are less likely to act out than to just settle into a deep depression.

Hollywood’s Female Trouble from NY mag
Bionic dog gets bionic paw

And in case you think being obsessed with minor celebrities isn’t genetic, my mom wrote me an e-mail to say she’d seen Lily Allen and Samantha Ronson having lunch together at some restaurant. I can’t believe my mom knows who Lily Allen is, let alone Samantha Ronson.

Oh My God – Mark Ronson Ft. Lily Allen: mp3
Don’t Push Me Around – Zeros: mp3
The Year 2003 Minus 25 – Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson: mp3

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording and she hopes that when you go to Nationals, you will bring it.

4 thoughts on “In Which We Know Who Killed You

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