In Which The American Dream Sucks

My Owen Private Idaho

by Molly Lambert

If there is any lesson I learned from The Decline Of Western Civilization II, which I just saw for the first time. it’s that success is a curse and addiction is a black hole of despair. There is nothing remotely cool or fun about being a drunk or a junkie, yet sensitive successful prettyboys from Chet Baker to Kurt Cobain and now Owen Wilson end up using heroin anyway.

You guys wanna do some blow? Jazz joke.

Being legitimately famous, Owen Wilson levels of famous, has to be a completely surreal experience. When you are that successful, everyone always laughs at your jokes and offers you drugs. Decline of Western Civilization also taught me that a decadent rock‘n roll lifestyle is impossible to sustain, and that we should all be hanged for idolizing the Glimmer Twins.

Fuck You, Alan Partridge

The reason our society is so obsessed with fame is because the alienation felt by the famous is a grand-scale version of the alienation the rest of us commoners feel. Straight White Women love Jennifer Aniston because being a rich beautiful actress didn’t help her not get fucked over by a lame dude, in this case Brad Pitt.

“No one knows what it’s like…to be the sad man…”

Likewise if Owen Wilson was prone to depression to begin with, being a movie star would not make him less likely to be depressed. If anything, it would probably just make him feel shame and guilt about his depression. All First-World depression comes with a feeling that it hasn’t been earned, I can only imagine what it would feel like to be depressed knowing that technically, you are living the American Dream.

Kurt: Dreamy, Blond, Deceased

Kurt Cobain apparently got into heroin because The Melvins did it and they were his heroes. Heroin movies always manage to glamorize heroin users even when the message is don’t fucking do it.

Fuck you too, Lord Byron

There is also a creepy fetishization of Owen’s Sadness in the coverage so far that I blame on our ever-lame love of Byronic heroes. Sure we all have a Death Drive and I’m as introspective as can be, but I am not down with the goth idea that suicide is sexy.

“Ca-CAW! Ca-CAW!”

The media loves a dead blonde. I’m glad Owen didn’t go the way of Marilyn, Kurt, and Lady Di. Maybe he’ll finally write a screenplay in rehab. I also wonder if this means he’ll win an Oscar for The Darjeeling Limited? We love you Owen baby. We hope you get the help you need.

Heroin (Demo) – The Velvet Underground mp3

Heroin (Peel Slowly And See) – The Velvet Underground mp3

Heroin (Bootleg) – The Velvet Underground mp3

So I’m rapelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I’ll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize “Holy shit, Hansel, haven’t you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head?”

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording.


Tess has a bone to pick with an Iron Chef judge.

Molly discussed the whole Ian Matthews thing.

Danish versus Kanye.


7 thoughts on “In Which The American Dream Sucks

  1. The Velvet Underground made it sound cool & then when I got into Bird I thought it was cool because he was cool. Years later I sniffed it and threw up and when you do too much you literally can’t move at all. There was a commercial doing the this is your brain on drugs thing but instead of it being an egg the chick flips out and starts smashing stuff. It’s really stupid, they would be better off showing the girl in England who is cryoing because her life as a heroin addict is so miserable.

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