In Which The Internet Kills A Television Star?

Nobody Moralizes Like Children

by Molly Lambert

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“oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck”

In case you’re of legal drinking age you may still not have heard about the The 9/11 Of Tweenager Sex Scandals: formerly squeaky clean teen queen Vanessa Hudgens (of the Disney Channel’s hugely popular cash cow High School Musical franchise) and her Leaked Nude Photogate. Well, I’m here to fill you in. Though if you are of legal drinking age, there’s no fucking way you should be looking at naked pictures of an underage girl, even if it’s what the internet was invented for (and LOLcats). The Feds might be triangulating you as we speak thinking you’re Pete Townsend.

va

Vanessa “dates” preteen panty moistener Zac Efron, who has the gayest face since Lance Bass

What a weird scandal. It’s like taking the subtext of High School Musical and spelling it out. You mean there is a sexual undertone to a movie that is basically teenagers gyrating in different little outfits while lipsyncing for ninety minutes? And for all the tween girls that idolize Zanessa, isn’t it maybe better that they find out now the perfect relationship they dream of is a unachievable construct of the media put there to brainwash them into thinking that finding a cute boyfriend should be their ultimate goal in life?

dea

Dear Young Impressionable Girls. Zac Efron will never be your boyfriend, because he is gay. If a guy like Zac Efron wants to be your boyfriend, don’t date him. He’s gay, I promise.

I mean honestly, this is like finding out that Archie fucks Betty and Veronica. It’s indescribably shocking, unless you were reading between the lines (also, Jughead is gay). Zanessa’s chaste love was supposed to symbolize what Justin and Britney’s once had, and we all know how that turned out. Arguably the most fucked up part (so far) is the fervent debate over why she can’t afford a better pube waxer by now. People are literally criticizing an underage girl for not looking underage enough.

Real comments taken from Miss Vanessa, a Vanessa Anne Hudgens fan-site, bolded for emphasis by me:

TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO SAY ITS HER PERSONAL LIFE AND SHE DOESNT DESEREVE THIS YOUR WRONG! YOU ASK ME WHY? BECUASE SHE LIED! SHE SAID YOU WAS A GOOD KID!!! FOR ME THERE SINOTHING MORE WORSE THEN LIERS! IN HATE POEPLE THAT LIE! VANESSA WAS MY ROLE MODEL! I BELEIVED HER ONE HUNDERED PERCENT OF THE WAY! WHAT EVER POEPLE ABOUT HER MADE ME FURIUOS, I STUCK WIHT HER LIKE A FREIND!!!! BY SAYING THAT THIS WAS NOT TRUE I WAS LIEING TO MYSELF, AND I FEEL LIKE A LIER!!!! I FEEL THE MOST CRUSHED!!!! HER MUSIC WAS WHAT ENCOURAGED ME TO START SINGING(AND I AM GOOD)!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU VANESSA!! GO TO HELL!!!!!!! YOU BROKE ME HEART!!!!!!!!!!!) by the way i am 9 years old – H

gf

ya know, in other countries, nudity isn’t a big deal. this was obviously a personal photo. vanessa, by hollywood standards, is still a good role model. modeling your birthday suit doesn’t change the ‘good’ you stand for. whether or not this was a bad publicity stunt gone awry really isn’t our place to say. we can speculate and talk about the photograph until we’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day, it is a personal issue that needs to be left alone. – Ellie

fv

Vanessa, with fellow Lolicon Dolly/future Manson-concubine Evan Rachel Wood in teensploitation film Thirteen. Foreshadowing?

I don’t think she made a mistake in taking the photos – you are making it seem like she posed for playboy or something. they were for private use only. by saying it was a “mistake” implies that the photos are immoral. they are immoral if they are taken for immoral reasons like child porn or something. her so called “mistake” is not realizing that in this day and age, its pretty impossible to keep private things private. people are paid huge money to dig 24/7 for this kind of stuff. if these photos were hanging around at zac’s house or on his computer or whatever, chances are some dirtbag “friend” of his is going to go public with them. she just used poor judgement. poor v and her family. – SHELBY

the

The cast of High School Musicals I and II, (L-R) Gay, Black, Black, Terrifying, Gay, Filipino

im shocked. i didnt really know what nude meant so i looked it up and i was so shocked!!!! cant believe this – Theresa

aimd

I like her tits – Jason

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Yes I am going to hell for this post

i really am disappointed.
i’m only 13, and her fan base is like 12 or 13 year olds.
roleplayers now all know about it.

when you’re famous, privacy and things like that are hard.
i’m suprised she wasn’t thinking about that.
her career might go crashing down because of this.
nude pictures to keep zac interested?
wow, now thats, thats just so unlike her.

it looks so photoshopped though.
her rep claims it, and whats done is done.
i wish her luck.
– Kelly

“It’ll Be a Breeze” — The Long Winters (mp3)

fs

Dane Cook likes The Doors? Why am I not surprised.

HEY I STILL THINK VANESSA ROX, SHE’S PROBABLY JUST DOING THIS TO MAKE A OLDER APROACH! ALL STARS DO IT(MOST). BECUZ ALL THE DIRESTORS AND STUFF JUST THINK SHE’S A LITTLE KID, LIKE IN HSM MOVIES. I THINK VANESSA IS JUST TRYING TO PROVE THT SHE CAN DO MORE THAN LITTLE DISNEY CHANNEL ROLES AND SHE’S OLDER LIKE ALL THOSE STARS WHO DO THOSE KIND OF PHOTO SHOOTS.
– VANESSAROX

fva

Vanessa yesterday in Australia, when perverts still had to imagine her naked

“Stupid” — The Long Winters (mp3)

Love does crazy things to people.
Zac was rising on the HOLLYWOOD ladder she was just probably scared that she’d loose him. She felt vulnerable, and felt she had to do that probably. =[ It’s crazy yes, but it happens.
& if your a real Vanessa fan, they you’ll support her thought this difficult time, and if your turning your back because of this, your gay.
– ZLUVSBABYV

sf

Just because an 18 year old girl wears a corset dress does not mean you are supposed to picture what her breasts might look like.

I’m so amazing disappointed in Vanessa it’s not even funny. And after all the parading people did around here, supporting her and claiming it’s not true when it really is. I don’t know what to think anymore. But I do know this. The girl who took those nude pictures of herself is no longer a role model of mine. It hurts so much, but if that’s what Vanessa chooses to do, then I can’t support her anymore. I hate this, I wish none of this was true. But I’d say her career is washed-out, for now at least. Maybe in the future she’ll be able to make something out of herself. I hate saying these things about Vanessa, and thinking about her this way, but after those pictures, I can’t look at her the same anymore. It’s unfortunate it had to end this way. – Susanna

fi

gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend, I don’t really care that you are queer

You people need to chill. I mean it’s HER life… let HER do what she wants to do. I mean look at Paris Hilton. She has a sex tape and little girls still look up to her. I know she didn’t star in a disney movie but it doesn’t really matter. Vanessa’s an Adult and can do whatever she wants. I still support her and look up to her. I hope that Zac stands by her side and i hope there relationship stays strong as always… – Remy

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording. By the way she is 9 years old.

“Blanket Hog” — The Long Winters (mp3)

“Bride & Bridle” — The Long Winters (mp3)

You can find more from The Long Winters here and here.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

John Gruen recalled his particularly violent adolescence as part of our ongoing series on the subject.

13 thoughts on “In Which The Internet Kills A Television Star?

  1. She’s 18..and..It Was a Big Publicity Stunt to Up Her Sex Appeal…Let’s Pretend We Don’t Care So We can Have a Hot Nude Video instead….

  2. If the pictures were sent to Zac, how did they end up all over the interet?

    Evidently he shared them with others or else Vanessa sent these to someone else who got them into the hands of the internet world.

  3. Okay so technically im not a crazed hsm fan… i mean i didnt even see it until the week before the second one came out nd i thought it was cute nd whatever so i watched the second one at my friends after a concert the night it came on…nd it was good i mean yeah if you want to think your cool and call it “gay” nd “immature” then go for it, but its fun… i mean i guess youd have to be in a fun mood to watch it but its fun. and the fact that all this with vanessa is happening is so unfortunate. shes defenitly my favorite one in the whole musical. she just has that really sweet innocent way about her and i dont think she meant harm by what she was doing. and if you can honestly say that guys dont pressure girls into things, ESPECIALLY picutres like that then youre in for a rude awakening because ive been in her situation to many times and its sad that when someone that isnt hollywood named goes and does it that its okay but then vanessa does and the whole country has a shitfit… just grow up and accept her… she is older too, she has freedom…

  4. SHE’S A FUCKEN UGLY BITCH(WHORE)SO SHE NEEDS 2 GO SOME WHERE WIT HER LITTLE HOE SELF ZAC NEEDS 2 GO BACK OUT WIT ASHLEY TISDALE SHES NOT A WHORE OR HOE AND SHE WON’T DO WHAT VANESSA JUST DID SO FUCK THAT UGLY ASS BYTCH AND LET’S HOPE SHE AIN’T GONNA DO IT AGAIN WHORE!!!!♥♥♥♥

  5. molly youre such a dumb bitch your whole thing was based about her being an underage teenager but SHES NOT FUCKING UNDERAGE!!! SHES FUCKING 18 SO SHUT THE FUCK UP U FAT JEALOUS BITCH WE WILL CONTINUE TO STROKE IT TO NUDE PICS OF HER

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