In Which Reality Television Stifles Eugenics

by Molly Lambert

Fuck you, Darwin! Survival of the shittiest!

Grossest least ethically sound Survivor contestant EVER Johnny Fairplay and Michelle The Wrestler with vitiligo From ANTM had a fucking child together? This kid is going to win whatever reality TV show they use to determine the presidency in the future.


I loved Michelle. She was my favorite from Cycle 4. Her interests are wrestling and serial killers! I always pick the most socially awkward ANTM competitor to root for. Also jeez she’s only now 21.


From Michelle’s myspace interests section:

Wrestling, reading and serial killers. Yes I’m a wrestling model…that does sound a bit weird but what can you do. I wrestled for two and a half years in Indiana before I did Top Model under the name Jezze Belle…yea…I was a bad guy but I loved it. If people cheered I wasn’t happy. I wanted them to hate me with a passion!


I always have a book with me and it’s either a Star Wars, ghost story or serial killer book. I’m a Star Wars Geek!! And proud of it!! I went to a Star Wars convention in Indiana before I moved to LA. Everytime I go on vacation to a different state or country I try and find a book with local Ghost stories. It’s fun to be scared sometimes. I have a huge interest in studying Serial Killers.


I love to read about their crimes, the who, what, when, where, how, pretty much everything to do with serial killers, I want to know! Something about getting in the mind of other people drives me wild. I study other cultures too. I want to not only study them but live other cultures too. One day when I’m older, I’ll just disappear…don’t worry…I’ll be in Bora Bora…don’t tell

I love ghost stories too Michelle! And I agree with you about Ewan McGregor! Also if you serial-killed Johnny Fairplay I would probably not judge you too harshly becuase HE LIED ON SURVIVOR ABOUT HIS GRANDMOTHER DYING.

I love fall. I love ghosts. The illustrations in this book scared the shit out of me and all kids.

The only thing crazier than one fame-hungry reality TV nutjob is TWO fame-hungry reality TV nutjobs crazy in love. First Heidi and Spencer and Being Bobby Brown, now this (not from The Onion, I swear):

Tina Turner’s ex-husband Ike is planning a new reality TV show with the ex-wife he accused of trying to poison him. Ike Turner, 75, divorced 49-year-old Audrey Madison earlier this summer after claiming she tried to kill him with an overdose of prescription pills — but now the quirky couple is back together. And friends insist Turner and his colorful backing singer will be together forever, because she’s the only woman who is “wilder than he is.” One source says, “He’s been used to marrying groupies he could control.” As well as working on their relationship and pitching a new reality TV show, the couple is currently planning a tour of Europe.


Yes Ike Turner, we all know how you usually control women.

George Saunders’ press photo. We believe the word you’re looking for is “rumpled.”

Occasionally the world is a little bit too much like a George Saunders story for me. I have the PERFECT candidate to play George Saunders in his biopic, or in an adaptation if he ever writes anything long enough to become a feature:

Peter Sarsgaard, center, betwixt the Gyllenspoon. AMIRITEFOLKS?

Happy 9/11! The new Kanye West album comes out today! We’re giving you the best songs for free because we know you’ll PLEDGE TO THIS RECORDING in return! And if we run into Kanye, we promise we will totally give him his cut!

Flashing Lights – Kanye West: mp3

Barry Bonds – Kanye West: mp3

Drunk And Hot Girls – Kanye West mp3

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording. Sometimes pop culture just makes her want to curl up in a little ball and die. Mostly she’s cool though.


2 thoughts on “In Which Reality Television Stifles Eugenics

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