In Which We Dredge Up Ryan Gosling’s Corny Past

You Can’t Be Cool Unless You Used To Be A Dork

By Molly Lambert

This must be where pies go when they die!

Ryan Gosling. This Recording lovez him. He’s dated two of the actresses I’d most like to invite to a barbeque: Rachel McAdams and Sandra Bullock. If Ashley Judd weren’t married you know he’d have dated her too.

He’s going to look like Harry Nilsson very soon.

His favorite actor is Gary Oldman. He bought his car from the production of “Murder By Numbers.” Preteen girls write PG rated fanfic about him. He’s Brandoing out, I think for his role in Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones.

BLOND STEEL

Gosling and Benicio Del Toro are apparently making tentative plans to visit the Bolivian jungle on a survivalism trip for the Che movie they’re making with Stephen Soderbergh.

Oh and did you know he sings? That there’s footage of him and Justin Timberlake duetting on the New Mickey Mouse Club and it’s on YouTube?

Perhaps let us watch them bring sexy back 90s Slo Jam style while still a long ways from puberty.

“The theme for me is love and the lack of it. We all want that and we don’t know how to get it, and everything we do is some kind of attempt to capture it for ourselves.” – R. Gosling

O hai Ryan Gosling that’s not even ur quote…it’s John Cassavetes! That’s so cute he appropriated it. The Notebook was directed by Nick Cassavetes, John’s son, remember. Gosling truly is a chameleo!

”I have a one-track mind,” he said. ”That’s all that I’m interested in — love. And the lack of it. When it stops.” – J Cassavetes

Wait a minute look who else borrowed the “love and the lack of it” quote, why it’s Nick Lowe! Wow, Ryan Gosling, Nick Lowe, and John Cassavetes. That’s like a shortlist of who I’d invite to the barbeque’s secret afterparty.

Oh hello Ryan, tight pants. I mean, nice penis. Oh, bother.

Gawd I totally remember his acting debut on an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark. That show was so rad and Canadian. Oh shit he was on Breaker High! Yesssss! God the nineties are so embarrassing I love it! No embarrassing child actor past escapes the web.

O hi DAWSON and DWIGHT SCHRUTE?

You know what else we love about Gosling? He was raised a strict Mormon! A Canadian Mormon! Can you imagine how nice he must be?

With the cast of “Lars And The Real Girl.” Again with the trousers. Very tight. Not that we in any way disapprove.

Did we mention he’s also an accomplished jazz guitarist? O Ryan u so indie now, but we know all ur dorky secrets. Much like Rock and Roll or elephants, the internet never forgets. Don’t worry, it only makes you that much more endearing and adorable.

Clean Gosling

The Puppy Song – Harry Nilsson: mp3

Moonbeam Song – Harry Nilsson: mp3

What’ll I Do – Harry Nilsson: mp3

Dirty Gosling

Ambush – Harry Nilsson: mp3

Jump Into The Fire – Harry Nilsson: mp3

One – Harry Nilsson: mp3

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording. She’s going to watch The Notebook for the first time soon.

6 thoughts on “In Which We Dredge Up Ryan Gosling’s Corny Past

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