Instead of trying to get Rachael to write for me, I have resorted to just quoting her from our gchat conversations and arranging it in the form of an article, even though she has yelled at me three times and told me not to. Enjoy this previously unavailable cultural commentary from one of the most important voices of our generation.
by Rachael Bedard
I have been using the word cupcaking a lot. From Urban Dictionary:
It’s like flirting; being flirtatious.
“Aye yo, stop cupcaking wit that ugly ass ho.”
to talk to a guy/girl that you are attracted to on the phone for an extended period of time
“Quit cupcaking with your girl and let’s go”
Constantly kissing and being all over someone in public places
“The girl is always cupcaking with her man in the hallway”
Wow, that’s a lot of conflicting definitions. I use it in the snuggly-wuggly sense.
Because of the blog, my husband Gideon keeps calling me betch. He’s like, “Love you betch.” The other day he was making me feel better about school, and I was like “thanks baby” and he was like “anytime betch.”
Also, I like to think of everything as a caption for i can haz cheezburgr. At school I spend the whole time thinking of funny captions for the powerpoint slides.
W.S. doing what he does best
I am using the word “primsy” a lot, but it isn’t catching on. I’ll use it in a sentence: Will Smith was so primsy in that picture where he’s leading that art tour. Or, n+1 is intolerably primsy. Or, What a bunch of primsy douches. My worry with primsy is that I’m rolling it out all over, but the fish ain’t biting.
“But, Honestly” — Foo Fighters (mp3)
“Once and For All” — Foo Fighters (mp3)
Gideon’s mom said the funniest thing in an email. She wrote an email to the whole family but she forgot to include the youngest, Sam. We were like “What about Sam?” And she wrote back “omygod…. never never tell him i forgot him.” I’ve been giggling about her use of omygod for days.
Also, I’ve been using a lot of “funsies,” “samesies,” “for realsies,” especially at school. I am literally the coolest kid in my class. I actually am. I’m not the smartest, but I am the coolest. I am making white people jokes all over the place. I’m like “you people are white people!”
I could marinate a chicken in that.
Before our last exam, I generally shouted, “Good luck sluts!” It had them rolling in the aisles. Actually, not that many people heard. It was chaos in there. But those around me heard, and they laughed.
Today I made some kids play “kill, fuck, marry” with me. It was hard to think of any combination of three kids in our class where you didn’t just want to kill them all. I was playing with this hysterical guy named Ralph. He kept being like, “I would kill myself, you gotta.”
“Long Road to Ruin” — Foo Fighters (mp3)
“Details of the War” — Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (mp3)
People are like “why don’t you guys ever come to parties?” or “I’m so nervous about the test” and my answer to both is always “whatever.” I am like, “I see you people all day, why would I see you more?”
Yesterday this teacher was telling us about a fictional patient couple where “two yuppies meet, fall in love, and decide to move to a brownstone in brooklyn. she gets pregnant.” Three people were like, “Rachael!”
Rachael Bedard is the betch of 104th street, and a second-year medical student. She is a writer living in New York.