In Which We Crack Open The Web Like The Cream-Filled Clam It Is

The Internet Has More Secrets To Behold

by Tess Lynch

“Paper Plane” — The Minders (mp3)

“Let My Love Open The Door” — Pete Townshend (mp3)

If you haven’t heard of an “easter egg” — the extra, pointless doo-hickey that gets stuck into programs, CDs, search engines and video games — then you simply aren’t spending enough time on the internet. These are reserved for when one has actually reached the end of the web; when you’ve checked everything 9 billion times and there’s nothing left. I guess it also applies to CDs and movies. You bought the DVD and you watched it twice and now you’ve seen it and don’t want to watch it again. Well, I’m not going to help you watch it over and over, because that’s not my thing (though I strongly suggest that, if that is your thing, you go search the movies at the first link below). I am, however, really into milking the internet for all its virtual milkiness; same goes for boring computer applications. Now you, too, can be the asshole who’s like, “You guys know that in Airplane! they stuck in Adolf Hitler as a member of the tech crew?” And everyone’s like, “Whaaaaa?”

Here, some hidden gems for your nerdy pleasures:

GENERAL DORKDOM

The Easter Egg Archive

FACEBOOK

See your friends in a picture grid

Post comments for people who aren’t your friends

More privacy options

AIM status and skins

MYSPACE

Tom’s Myspace editor — the only one, I think, worth linking to

What people did before the internet.

GOOGLE

Google Earth flight simulator

Google interface tricks

Google Earth hidden swimming pool

“Chicago” — Sufjan Stevens (mp3)

“It’s All Mixed Up” — Red House Painters (mp3)

FLICKR

“Surf mode”

Santa Hat code

ADOBE

Photoshop 8 “Taconite Man”

Photoshop 8 “Merlin”

Gay porn AGAIN, Merv??

AIM

See creator’s picture

Mark Zuckerberg took your idea, didn’t he?

Excel

Excel 2000 “Spy Hunter”

Firefox

Firefox inside Firefox

iTunes

Change visual effects

MSN Messenger Plus

Audio and more

Because Satan loves AIM

Tess Lynch recommends you watch Sleepaway Camp if followed by Short Cuts for a most interesting evening.

PREVIOUSLY/AT SOME POINT ON THIS RECORDING

Lucas Stangl presents you with a bittersweet coffee drink.

Rebecca: “Ich Bin Ein Berliner

Molly on literary boots-knockin‘.

Tess and Molly have been suckling at the teat of the internet since 1997

4 thoughts on “In Which We Crack Open The Web Like The Cream-Filled Clam It Is

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