In Which Britney Shebangs To Victory Somehow

GIMME MOOOOOAR!!!!!

by Molly Lambert

KISS MAH GRITS BETCH!

In honor of Blackout being released, here’s a ridiculous list of drug slang

I’m Miss World somebody kill me

Candy Blunt – Blunts dipped in cough syrup
Care BearsMethylenedioxymethampehtamine (MDMA)
Cat Valium – Ketamine
Coco Rocks – Dark brown crack made by adding chocolate pudding during production

Easy Lay – Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
Finger – Marijuana cigarette
Hugs and Kisses – Combination of methamphetamine and methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA)
Jib – Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
Nail – Marijuana cigarette
Oolies – Marijuana cigarettes laced with crack
Oz – Inhalants
Pink Elephants – Methamphetamine
Pikachu – Pills containing PCP and Ecstasy
Qat – Methcathinone
Rib – Rohypnol; methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA)
Shebanging – Mixing cocaine with water and squirting it up nose

Sheet Rocking – Crack and LSD
Skin Popping – Injecting drugs under the skin; to inject drugs on any part of the body without hitting a vein
Skittling – Abuse of cold tablets containing dextromethorphan
TNT – Fentanyl
Toke – To inhale cocaine; to smoke marijuana; marijuana
Ts and RitsTalwin and ritalin combination is injected and produces an effect similar to the effect of heroin mixed with cocaine.
Wigging – Odd behavior resulting from the use of mind-altering drugs
Wooly Blunts – Marijuana and crack or PCP
Ya Ba – A pure and powerful form of methamphetamine from Thailand; “crazy drug”
Z – 1 ounce of heroin
Zen – LSD

I would not be surprised if all of these were fake and made up by someone eating a lot of pot cookies. Swingin on the flippity flop for sure.

“Hai guyz let’s go toast this finger” “Nah man I wanna toke this yay first” “why don’t you just shebang it?” “Good call!” “We also need to eat that pikachu at some point.” “Burning Man rules!”

Speaking of drugs, Justin Timberlake co-directed a Duran Duran video which turns out to be his third cinematic fuck-you to Britney.

(Raging TR Girlcrush) Mindy Kaling’s ideal Sunday morning sounds a lot like ours:

Sunday Morning Fantasy #27 looks like this: Park Slope, Brooklyn. I am reading the Times Book Review and eating granola and fruit in these underwear and a tank top at my kitchen table with Pharrell, my boyfriend. We argue whether George Saunders is funnier in fiction or non-fiction (I say fiction, by a factor of 10. Pharrell disagrees, he loves his journalism.). The arguing really begins to escalate until our good friend Ryan McGinley arrives and persuades us to go to BAM with him. Both Ryan and Pharrell agree that my underwear is adorable.

Mindy also scrapped her brilliant first costume idea (CONDI!) in favor of an equally brilliant second one (the scrappy drug-dealing soccer hooligans from City Of God!)

Kelly Kapoor > Kelly Kapowski

OMG she is sooo cute. We could so see her with Pharrell. They should double with Aziz Ansari and M.I.A. and rip the space-time with so many Young, Gifted, and Brown supertalents in one place. I think M.I.A. should recruit Mindy to be the Katt Williams to her feminist Snoop Dogg. Hype Men are more popular than ever, and with Hillary running I think we’re ready for a Hype Woman.

“9/11 IS A JOKE!”

New Britney album has some blazing jawns. Some of it sounds kinda like Radiohead, but not In Rainbows so much as Kid A. Lots of cool bleep bloop stuff from Timbaland protege Danja. I bet Mindy is all over it. Her fave track is probably ours, Hot As Ice but maybe she prefers Why Should I Be Sad? since it was written by her phantasy boyfriend Skateboard P.

Aziz Ansari, no relation to Danish Aziz

Closing Mindgrapes:

1. If birds can see Magnetic Fields, does that make them all racists?

2. I am really upset about Chinese lobotomies.

3. Snoop is called Snoop because he loved Peanuts so much as a kid!

4.

MOAR ON THIS SHIA LA BEOUF STORY LATERZ

Gimme More – Britney Spears: mp3

Piece Of Me – Britney Spears: mp3

Hot As Ice – Britney Spears: mp3

Why Should I Be Sad? – Britney Spears: mp3

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Tess is a libertarian too, but just fiscally.

John Ashbery is cooler than a polar bear’s underwear.

Alex called out Sean Penn for making Passion Of The Young Republican (people keep doubting the validity of this, McCandless led the YR group at Emory! He was just a NUT!) To tell the truth, dude sounds like a self-hating Libertarian with the same Dull White Man’s Guilt as guys like Eddie Vedder, Ethan Hawke, and Sean Penn. O hai sup Spicolz?

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording. Yum, bagelz.

11 thoughts on “In Which Britney Shebangs To Victory Somehow

  1. I suppose you wanted me to be ticked off and come here screaming about how you chose to link my post and use the contents. Suggesting my kid should be embarassed? Oh, surely that oughta get a rise out of me too…

    I suppose it works within the scope of your post to suggest the terms are made up… oooh, maybe even by me?

    Click to access street_terms.pdf

    I expect my teens to be embarassed of me. If they weren’t, I’d just be one of those lame-ass parents who try re-live their own youth by being their kids’ best friend.

    The list is real. Play all you want. Every writer needs something to spark their creativity I suppose. So hey.. thanks for the added exposure. I’ve got to get back to my own blog now… I’ve got way more of those terms to finish making up and sucking in all the drug enforcement agencies all across Canada and the United States.

    Whew. It’s going to be a busy day.

  2. com, you will discover an extremely powerful marketing system that could potentially change your life forever.

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