In Which Thursday Links Are Trying To Break Your Heart

Nobody told me I was the troubled slut in Atonement!

by Molly Lambert

Her name is Juno Temple and she’s the daughter of Julien, the British auteur of Earth Girls Are Easy. Her name is Juno, eh? Timely moniker that. She’s the only girl so far in Harold Ramis’s caveman comedy Year One.

If Egon Spengler follows his usual traditions Juno might well be the only female. Sigh…Here’s hoping there’s a part somewhere for Charlyne Yi. This all just reminds me how stoked I am for the new Ghostbusters video game.

Alex and I model ourselves after this hot pair of Jews

Since we get so many hits for “dinosaur sex” I am posting this great study about monkeys and sex from Germany.

“The researchers found that females yelled during 86 percent of all sexual encounters. When females shouted, males ejaculated 59 percent of the time. However, when females did not holler, males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time.

Counting monkey pelvic thrusts is admittedly “quite weird, but it’s science,” researcher Dana Pfefferle, a behavioral scientist and primatologist at the German Primate Center, told LiveScience. “You get used to it.”

I love picturing the German scientists that are studying this. It could be a Nichols and May sketch.

Juno scribe and general alt.hottie Diablo Cody blogs for EW. She conducted some field-research on arousal and pelvic thrusts herself as a stripper and wrote a book about it. You probably know all this by now.

Diablo’s a cool name and all, but her real one is Brooke Busey-Hunt. If I were her I’d have just shortened my name to “Brook Hunt” as a way to make people unconsciously say cunt, like sofa king.

FUN VAMPIRES! Are there any other kind?

Men are way worse drivers than women. We also now curse just as much. Just a couple more stereotypes not to fall back on anymore, lazy sexists!

Seriously though, America. I want my tampons paid for stat.

American Psycho is alive and well and lonely for the holidays. Don’t blame me when you’re in the ER on Christmas morning with extreme vaginal tears.

M.I.A. video for Paper Planes, Kala is one of my top ten albums of the year if I were making a list which I’m probably not.

I wish M.I.A. would write her own Dangerous Book For Girls about how to make the bombs to make you blow.

I was pissed about the double standards as a Brownie, when we had to make spoon dolls and the Cub Scouts got knives. Sounds like things haven’t changed. Mad Men is ever more prurient as America regresses into a fifties mindset.

Hipster Dadz Plz, don’t do blow with yr babiez.

AND NOW I WANNA BE YOUR DAD!

Mary J. Blige’s latest album is boring for the same reason Wilco’s was. Happy people in stable relationships make worse/less passionate music than depressed/lonely/drunk/junkie fuck-up saddos. It’s the Paradox Of Art!

Speaking of he(art)break, I didn’t know Bill Callahan dated Chan “Cat Power” Marshall forever before current tootsie Joanna Newsom. Smog‘s mom broke up with Cat Power for him, Jean Weir style. No wonder she had a psychotic break and cancelled her tour!

How awkward must that have made All Tomorrow’s Parties? I hope Chan didn’t turn once more to Sunday’s Clown and cry behind the door. Sorry Chan, that all rilly sucks. On the upside your next album will no doubt rule.

Julia Allison kissing a girl, soon to be our new top search term.

In other news about Earth girls what are easy, Kristin Cavallalalxlgglio might join The Hills!!! Team Justin-Bobby 4eva!

A Heartbreaking Work of Romantic Bloggenius

Alternative diets and poverty stew from Heartbreak Soup

Isn’t Life Terrible?

Putting up a review of sketches on Broadway is the Mad Men era version of putting video shorts up on the internet.

Elaine May’s daughter Jeannie Berlin is in Kenneth Kenny Lonergan’s Margaret.

2Pac Live at the Source Awards in 1994

Pecanne Log ladyblogs Atlanta

Alt.sex at Debauchette.

I understand now why we’ve been getting so many searches for “Zach Galifianakis” in conjunction with the term “snuggler.” Good to know he doesn’t limit his cuddling compulsion to kitties.

Socialism Magazine