In Which Ellen Page Is The Lesbian We Identify With The Mostest

The iTunes playlists

Kanye West

Jason Schwartzman

Gnarls Barkley

Michael Cera

The RZA

Wes Anderson

Vince Vaughn

The iTunes Playlist: Ellen Page

Oh to be Ellen Page! We already want to be a lesbian, and Ellen takes it up to another level. We so wish iTunes was new to us. All music is new to Ellen. She heard of music about three months ago when Sean Penn told her who Eddie Vedder was. Ellen was produced via an immaculate conception somewhere in Halifax, much like Howard Norman’s classic novel of the city, and one of our favorite books of all time, The Museum Guard.

Ellen probably has an addiction to cute pills, otherwise it would be difficult to look like this all the time. I wonder if when she stares at Alison Janney and Catherine Keener if she thinks that is what she will become. Diane Keaton is v. jealous of Ellen. Jack Nicholson is jealous of Ellen. Fuck, we all are. Being a cute little lesbian like Ariel Schrag in Potential is pretty much as good as it gets.

The celebrity playlist she made for iTunes follows.

“Possibly Maybe” – Bjork (mp3)

I adore Bjork. The swan dress and all. This is probably my favorite song by her. Feels like someone stuck in their head while falling for another, but not knowing how the other individual feels. Intense, beautiful, and scary.

“Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (live)” – Broken Social Scene (mp3)

I would love if some sort of machine existed that could tell me just how many times I have listened to this song. I guess iTunes tracks it, but I only recently got into this iTunes thingy. Anyway, the point of that ramble is to say that I adore this song. Emily Haynes (from Metric) singing with Broken Social Scene. It’s just a cosmic blend of awesomeness.

“Wild is the Wind” – Cat Power (mp3)

I am crazy about Cat Power, she is one of my favorite musicians. I could create an entire playlist with just her songs actually. In any event, here is a cover of ‘Wild is the Wind’ that paralyzes me. It is so gorgeous.

bonus track

“Wild is the Wind” – Nina Simone (mp3)

cocorosie

“Honey or Tar’ – CocoRosie

This song is beautiful, still, but very dirty. Elements that I love compacted into one stunning song. Coco Rosie is fantastic.

“Gymnopedies, No. 1 (Bank of America)” – Erik Satie (mp3)

Erik Satie‘s music is the score for my favorite film, The 400 Blows. I cannot even describe how his music makes me feel. So simple, but full of so much emotion.

“En Gallop” – Joanna Newsom (mp3)

When I first heard Joanna Newsom, I immediately fell in love. She was all I listened to for awhile. Both of her albums are insanely amazing. This song fills my heart to the brim.

Kurt Anderson talks to Ellen.

Ellen on her trashy peers.

The new It Girl of Halifax.

Ellen’s not a good sleeper.

ellen & catherine keener are the same person at different times

“You Love Me” – Kimya Dawson (mp3)

Kimya Dawson inspires me to no end. She has an enormous heart. She is one of those people that makes me feel better about being in this world. This song is extremely touching.

“Please” – Mary Gauthier

This album was just recently introduced to me. I am loving Mary Gauthier. Her voice blows me away.

“In a Manner of Speaking” – Nouvelle Vague (mp3)

I was obsessed with this song at one point. There are no words.

“Ice Cream” – New Young Pony Club (mp3)

Wow, all the music so far is incredibly beautiful and also very mellow. So here is one that makes me feel sugar high. It makes me feel other things too…as in it gets me pretty excited…tee hee.

“Break It Up” – Patti Smith

Patti Smith is one of my icons. This song is from one of my personal favorite albums of all time, Horses. It makes me want to tear off my clothes and run through a field or something. Is that weird?

“Entertain” – Sleater-Kinney (mp3)

This song makes me freak out, basically when I listen to it I can’t control myself. For intense, their album Woods should never be playing if I am driving. I love these girls, but I am also totally jealous, because I will never be them.

“Love Will Tear Us Apart” – Susanna and the Magical Orchestra (mp3)

This song knocks me out. It is so beautiful, honest, and sad. Sends a feeling straight to my gut.

“Lover’s Spit” – Broken Social Scene

Leslie Feist singing this Broken Social Scene song…need I say more? Let’s just make out.

Page’s next projects include:

– a struggling young mom opposite Cillian Murphy’s cross-dressing killa in Peacock

– Teen Wolf meets High Art as Ellen returns to her ‘bian roots in Jack and Diane with Olivia Furby as her lover

finally they can be open with another and make out a lot onscreen

– Sam Raimi’s new movie Drag Me to Hell

– a hot lesbian (presumably) roller derby girl in Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

That long train you take.

I generally have nothing to complain about.

Angelina gets Iraqed!

she’s basically the size of the wasp