You Should Probably Coco
by Tess Lynch
Fuck Soulja Boy! Eat a dick! This ni–a single handedly killed Hip Hop. That shit is such garbage man. We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherfuckers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman shit? That shit is garbage. Hurricane (Chris) take them fuoking beads out of your hair ni–a! Man up. You ni–as is making me feel real fucking mad about this shit.
– Ice T, the paragon of strange line deliveries on SVU.
The POINT is to CELEBRATE my FAVORITE COUPLE of ALL TIME: Ice T and Coco.
Coco happens to be a Playboy model, and she is crazy about Ice T for all the reasons you’d assume. And, of course, she has a lot to offer as well. But the real thing is that Ice T takes his moniker (real name: Tracy Marrow) from one of the illest pimps to ever write a series of 99 cent paperbacks, Iceberg Slim. Does that mean he automatically deserves to be dating a Playboy model with giant hooters? Yes.
However, as a serial monogamist (relatively speaking), he deserves her because he knows how to treat a woman right (that’s a guess).
He also served in the army, and hated it, like a lot of people who serve in the army; has had a successful film and TV career even though he’s quoted as saying “I can’t act, I really can’t act” in the Brent Owens documentary Pimps Up, Ho’s Down; AND HE WAS IN LEPRECHAUN: IN THE HOOD. I mean, come on, the man is sort of actually the most awesome person I’ve ever heard of. He has taken all of my ambitions and achieved them.
Coco, also known as Coco-T, is herself a blogger of sorts, raking in 2,000,000 hits a week on her site. She’s a dancer, has guest-starred on SVU (cute!), and once won a $10,000 scholarship to attend Beverly Hills Studio with Hilary Swank and Jessica Alba.
DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA
“My Baby” – Ice T (mp3)
“Pimp or Die” – Ice T (mp3)
“Walking in the Rain” – Ice T (mp3)
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
Alex went for Neil Gaiman.
Danish reminded us of all of 2007’s good songs so far.
Molly shone a light on British country-rocker Ian Matthews.