In Which Inside Every Woman Are Two Sexy Women

And They Mud Wrestle For The Vice Presidency

by Molly Lambert

Mad Men, Season 2
Episode 6: “Maidenform”

You know, inside every woman are two different, but equally sexy women. Inside every woman is a catty ginger who hates the new girl at the office. Inside every woman is a blonde woman who is secretly attracted to the hot guy at the barn.

Alex Carnevale as Don Draper: “Yeah, I gotta go play some Wii”

Inside every woman is an ambitious career girl who wants to be taken seriously at the strip club. Inside every woman is a blowsy comedian’s wife who seems like a Kerri Kenney character. Inside every woman is an old guy’s awkward lap bonar.

Left: Michelle Obama, Right: Sarah Palin

Inside every woman is a woman with an indeterminate number of children matriculating at fine schools. Sometimes inside that woman is another smaller woman with an indeterminate number of baybays. Inside every woman is a broken man.

My parents were like “Have you ever seen those Maidenform ads?” and I said “Of course. I remember them from my childhood growing up in the fifties and sixties.” The internet lets you relive every decade at once. It’s like a Wayback Machine. That said, no more anachronistic music please Matt Weiner and Mad Men folks. You’re better than that and it dates the show to now when it could just float classically in the ether of the period.

OMG PEGGY PLZ GET OFF HIS LAP U DON’T GET IT

I’m loving Sal more every week. I’d watch a sitcom spinoff just about him and Joan Holloway being bitchy at the office. Wouldn’t you? I’d also watch a Lou Grant type spinoff about Roger Sterling, a soap opera about Don and Betty’s divorced neighbor, or an animal show called The Adventures Of Chauncey about a lovable hobo dog looking for his sad drunk owner.

I dreamed I smashed the patriarchy in my underwear

Maidenform’s famous “I dreamed” series, began in September 1949 with the “I dreamed I went shopping” theme. This half page black and white ad was to be the first small step in a very long running and popular series of advertising. So popular in fact that the theme found its way into everyday life.

Complete List Of Maidenform’s “I Dreamed” ads

Ida Rosenthal (1886-1973) founded The MaidenForm Brassiere Company with her husband, William Rosenthal. Their company was the largest, privately held intimate apparel business in the United States. With William as designer and technical innovator, Ida as business executive and promoter.

I bet Ida Rosenthal was the Rachel Menken of her day. A hot Jewish babe running a bra company? I should pitch that.

Real life Peggy Olson alert: A female copywriter actually did invent the landmark Maidenform “I Dreamed” campaign. The idea came from Kitty D’Alessio when she was a young copywriter at a Manhattan ad firm, many years before she became president of Chanel Inc. succeeding Coco Chanel.

Matt Weiner and the cast talk gender politics and underthingies. Also, maybe this is just my experience, but wouldn’t Don Draper be stoked chicks thought he was a stud? I mean what slutty guy is ashamed of being a slut? I’m still trying to think of one.

“Crittin’ Down to Baba’s” – Icy Demons (mp3)

“For What It’s Worth” – Buffalo Springfield (mp3)

“Expecting to Fly” – Buffalo Springfield (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

There was never really a game.

Stand up comics we can tolerate.

Indulging oneself.

This Recording Is The Reflection In The Mirror

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