In Which Our Measurable Cerebral Activity Is Virtually Absent

Sports Corner: Infield Interlude

by George Ducker

I’m holding my breath. I’m rubbing my prayer beads. I’ve set my potted plant in the window with a red flag. I tried to get God on the phone, but I gave up after about the fifteenth time when His secretary, who sounds suspiciously like Lou Piniella, assured me that He was too busy dealing with lines jammed up by Brewers fans. Looks like their entreaties paid off.

Ryan Braun

“I Love the Lord, He Heard Me Cry (Parts I & II)” – Donny Hathaway (mp3)

How could the Chicago White Sox, who stood so tall–a damnably understated and handsome lot as well–through the whole season, always breezily atop the AL Central, have let it come to this?

Lou Piniella: What Cubs worry?

Last week the Sox lost three in a row to the one team they couldn’t afford to lose any games to. The Minnesota Twins sprang up like a rake under some leaves, wetly smacking Chicago’s pitching staff–most notably Javier Vasquez–right in the face. The Twins walked away with not only a couple of wins, but the whole series. Then they lost two to Cleveland. Finally, on Sunday, the White Sox won a game.

DuWayne Wise considers the heavens

Cubs fans get the boot from Sunday’s game

Now, it comes down to today’s make-up game against Detroit. The lowly Tigers, trapped in the basement of the division, have a last chance to play spoilsports for their neighbors across the Glove.

With their 74-87 record, and with hopeful wunderkind Gavin Floyd taking the mound for the White Sox, it seems that the game’s a shoo-in. But even then, even then, the Chicago will have to play a do-or-die game against the Twins on Tuesday, with a Pennant at stake. The mind reels.

Woodward, Bernstein

Who knows which way the winds of Bob Woodward’s sports affiliations blow? Maybe he’s a Nationals fan. I kinda doubt it though. The wiki sez he’s from Geneva, Illinois, so I’ll bet, like every other baseball fan old enough to buy a t-shirt, he’s in this one for the Cubbies.

Lou Piniella, during his tenure with the Portland Beavers, 1966

Here, the NY Times reviews Woodward’s boring new book.

Bernstein, Woodward



As for the great city of New York, they’ll be watching the playoffs on TV this season. The Mets lost not only their last game of the season, but their last game ever in Shea Stadium.

Mike Piazza, Tom Seaver dance


Steve Henson gets his post-mortem on:

“The episode is proof the Mets don’t belong in the playoffs. They didn’t completely fall apart like they did a year ago. No, this time they were ravaged by injuries that transformed the most regimented part of the game – the relay-like handoff from seventh-inning specialist to situational left-hander to eighth-inning specialist to closer – into a nightly horror show.”

“Never Meant” – American Football (mp3)

Jerry Manuel, far right

I bet Jerry Manuel wishes he had his old South Side coaching job back again. But then, judging by the way the Mets have behaved this month, it’s a good thing he’s gone.

Guillen at his finest.

Q: What is it they used to say in Mad Magazine?

A: We kid because we love. Now choke on it! -Ed.

Oh. Also. Football. Football happened.

James Thrash. Best name ever.

Amazingly, the Redskins beat the Cowboys 26-24 in Dallas.

Also amazingly, the Buffalo Bills, with Sunday’s 31 – 15 win over St. Louis, are 4-0 for the first time in 16 years.

Trent Edwards’s scream of DOOM

Tennessee, after their 30-17 trashing of the Vikings, are 4-0 for the first time ever.

Vince Young, from the bench, approves

Jacquizz Rodgers gets the carry

Let’s all take a moment to laugh at USC, whose million-dollar offense boo-hooed like orphaned children as Oregon State took them out handily on the road.

Oregon State’s Greg Laybourn gets the carry

As usual, the dunderheaded poll systems of both the AP and USA Today showed their cowardly deference to big budget programs and Pete Carroll’s silver mane by letting the Trojans stay in the top ten. Blech. College Football. Will it never end?


Also please, if you haven’t already, check out Lil Wayne’s sports blog at He writes about football and tennis. Amazing. He dropped Rothelisberger from his fantasy team and picked up Kurt Warner. Clearly, Mr. Wayne is a man who takes chances. Warner got 472 yards and 3 TDs on Sunday against the Giants, but somehow Arizona still lost 56-35. Those 3 interceptions are going to set Wayne’s total points back a bit, methinks.

Unfortunately for me, the esteemed editor of this blog is already hip to the celeb columnist phenomenon. I’m sure he’s planning right now to send me out on my ass and get David Banner to write next week’s column. Or maybe Neneh Cherry.

George Ducker is the Senior Contributor to This Recording. He invites all New York sports fans to jeer him ruthlessly when the Sox blow it.


Sailing By Night – Department of Eagles (mp3)

Ghost in Summer Clothes – Department of Eagles (mp3)

The Piano in the Bathtub – Department of Eagles (mp3)

Family Romance – Department of Eagles (mp3)

Department of Eagles Myspace;

Their new album is called In Ear Park – buy it here


Kanye West


Gnarls Barkley

Wes Anderson

Lou Piniella consumes This Recording

16 thoughts on “In Which Our Measurable Cerebral Activity Is Virtually Absent

  1. Lou looked absolutely dashing in ’66. And even a Cubs fan has to be impressed when a man who looks like he weighs about 66 pounds belts a season-saving grand slam like that.

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