In Which We Ascend To That Mall In The Sky

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Skymall Surprise

by MIA NGUYEN

The infamous SkyMall magazine reaffirms the notion that we love on a world of excess. Here are a few gems to look out for in the spring catalog.

 

Jolly Rancher Landscape

Jolly Rancher Chandelier
Light Up Your Life
$1,800

– Made of gilded iron with cascading chains of Jolly Rancher candy

– 1,000 60-Watt bulbs

– Professional installation required

– This product is not available for international shipping

Disco Book Lamp Landscape copy

Disco Magic Clip-on Book Light
Brighter Pages, Better Comprehension
$25.00

– Transform your regular night reading experience into a fountain of fun

– 20 flashy colors

– Solar powered

– Sustainable aka “eco-chic”

Parrot Beak Shakers Landscape

Parrot Beak Salt & Pepper Shakers
Season Smarter
$29.99

– Minimal parrot beak design to match any kitchen decor

– Meticulously hand-crafted and painted

– Does not clog like most shakers

– No Animals Were Harmed

Etch A Sketch Landscape

Scarface Quotes Etch A Sketch
Shake It Until You Make It
$59.99

– Preset with 100 quotes from the 1983 film

– Easy to use

– Lifetime warranty

Malapropism Shower Landscape

 

Malapropism Shower Curtain
Treat Yourself Real Nice
$45.85

– Cute malapropism

– Conversation starter for guests using your bathroom

– Vibrant and cool as hell

– 100% polyester

– Liner not included

Ginger Ale Car Freshener

Ginger Ale Car Freshener
Keep Ridin’
$1.99

– Leave passengers sniffing like a dog

– Intense, long-lasting scent

– Semi-pleasant

– An acquired taste

– Lady-killer

Croissant Scented Socks

Croissant Scented Socks
The Parisian Experience
$7.50/each

– Vintage

– 80% cotton

– 20% encrusted croissant flakes

– Left and right pairs sold separately

– Machine wash cold; hang to dry

– Limited edition

Mia Nguyen is the features editor of This Recording. You can find her website here.

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“Of The Sea” – Bride & Groom (mp3)

“Blackbird in a Cage” – Bride & Groom (mp3)

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