In Which The Very Person You Tagged In A Photo Could Be The One That Takes Your Life

 

PROFILING

by Charles Bethea

“Since December, 2006, the Central Intelligence Agency has been using facebook.com, the popular social networking site, to recruit potential employees into its National Clandestine Service. It marks the first time the CIA has ventured into social networking to hire new personnel.” —Wired News, January 24, 2007

Jenny Flog, Phil Hefferson, Mindy Montgomery, Stu Eno, Carol Acres and Hans Sillman joined the group “CIA Careers – National Clandestine Service.” 9:16pm

Phil Hefferson removed “keg stands” and “streaking the quad” from his favorite activities. 9:17pm

Jenny Flog is wearing a wire to the Delta Kappa Epsilon formal on Friday. 9:20pm

Stu Eno removed “The Anarchist’s Cookbook” from his favorite books and added “Tracking the Dragon: National Intelligence Estimates on China During the Era of Mao, 1948-1976.” 9:31pm

Phil Hefferson added “thinking about national defense” and “burning sensitive documents, without making smoke” to his favorite activities. 9:43pm

Kevin Gulley wants a burrito. 9:58pm

Hans Sillman removed “Anything and everything by Michael Moore” from his favorite movies. 10:01pm

Stu Eno added “basic lock-picking” to his interests. 10:10pm

Hans Sillman had too many Jell-o shots before attempting to collapse the economy of a negligible third-world country. 10:42pm

Carol Acres removed “The Dixie Chicks” from her favorite music and added “Toby Keith.” 10:43pm

Hans Sillman is making a rope ladder. 10:49pm

Carol Acres wishes her cryptography homework assignment were harder. 11:01pm

Stu Eno mentioned Phil Hefferson’s patriotic zeal in his note “Counter Espionage Is Wicked Fun.” 11:15pm

Mindy Montgomery is secretly in love with Michael V. Hayden. 11:32pm

Mindy Montgomery added the new photo album “Winter Break in Afghanistan, 2006”. 12:02am

Jenny Flog added “trying on prosthetics” and “covert, back-alley communication of spurious intelligence to double agents” to her favorite activities. 12:14am

Phil Hefferson has joined the group “Austin Powers is a member of the ACLU—not a spy with bad teeth.” 12:33am

Stu Eno poked Mindy Montgomery. 12:50am

Phil Hefferson added “Surveillance for Dummies” to his favorite books. 1:06am

Stu Eno and Mindy Montgomery are now friends. 1:08am

Carol Acres added “making my iPod into a closed-circuit camera” to her interests. 1:13am

Kevin Gulley can’t decide if he’d rather have a burrito or a dossier full of Kim Jong-il’s nuclear proliferation plans. 1:15am

Hans Sillman is pretty sure his roommate’s real name isn’t Bruce. 1:39am

Stu Eno has added “tricking lie detectors” and “phone-tapping” to his favorite activities. 1:51am

Mindy Montgomery doesn’t think Stu Eno can keep a secret. 2:01am

Phil Hefferson thinks that truth is relative. 2:30am

Kevin Gulley is eating a burrito. 2:46am

Charles Bethea is a writer living in Sante Fe, NM. He is the award-winning author of numerous essays, and his first collection is forthcoming this fall. He is an editor for Outside’s GO magazine.

“Past Poisons” — Patrick Park

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

“I Go Hard, I Go Home” — The Presets

The Presets website.

“Another Way” — Vitesse

Vitesse wiki.

“Anger” — Robert Creeley

More of Bob at Ubuweb.

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