PROFILING
by Charles Bethea
“Since December, 2006, the Central Intelligence Agency has been using facebook.com, the popular social networking site, to recruit potential employees into its National Clandestine Service. It marks the first time the CIA has ventured into social networking to hire new personnel.” —Wired News, January 24, 2007
Jenny Flog, Phil Hefferson, Mindy Montgomery, Stu Eno, Carol Acres and Hans Sillman joined the group “CIA Careers – National Clandestine Service.” 9:16pm
Phil Hefferson removed “keg stands” and “streaking the quad” from his favorite activities. 9:17pm
Jenny Flog is wearing a wire to the Delta Kappa Epsilon formal on Friday. 9:20pm
Stu Eno removed “The Anarchist’s Cookbook” from his favorite books and added “Tracking the Dragon: National Intelligence Estimates on China During the Era of Mao, 1948-1976.” 9:31pm
Phil Hefferson added “thinking about national defense” and “burning sensitive documents, without making smoke” to his favorite activities. 9:43pm
Kevin Gulley wants a burrito. 9:58pm
Hans Sillman removed “Anything and everything by Michael Moore” from his favorite movies. 10:01pm
Stu Eno added “basic lock-picking” to his interests. 10:10pm
Hans Sillman had too many Jell-o shots before attempting to collapse the economy of a negligible third-world country. 10:42pm
Carol Acres removed “The Dixie Chicks” from her favorite music and added “Toby Keith.” 10:43pm
Hans Sillman is making a rope ladder. 10:49pm
Carol Acres wishes her cryptography homework assignment were harder. 11:01pm
Stu Eno mentioned Phil Hefferson’s patriotic zeal in his note “Counter Espionage Is Wicked Fun.” 11:15pm
Mindy Montgomery is secretly in love with Michael V. Hayden. 11:32pm
Mindy Montgomery added the new photo album “Winter Break in Afghanistan, 2006”. 12:02am
Jenny Flog added “trying on prosthetics” and “covert, back-alley communication of spurious intelligence to double agents” to her favorite activities. 12:14am
Phil Hefferson has joined the group “Austin Powers is a member of the ACLU—not a spy with bad teeth.” 12:33am
Stu Eno poked Mindy Montgomery. 12:50am
Phil Hefferson added “Surveillance for Dummies” to his favorite books. 1:06am
Stu Eno and Mindy Montgomery are now friends. 1:08am
Carol Acres added “making my iPod into a closed-circuit camera” to her interests. 1:13am
Kevin Gulley can’t decide if he’d rather have a burrito or a dossier full of Kim Jong-il’s nuclear proliferation plans. 1:15am
Hans Sillman is pretty sure his roommate’s real name isn’t Bruce. 1:39am
Stu Eno has added “tricking lie detectors” and “phone-tapping” to his favorite activities. 1:51am
Mindy Montgomery doesn’t think Stu Eno can keep a secret. 2:01am
Phil Hefferson thinks that truth is relative. 2:30am
Kevin Gulley is eating a burrito. 2:46am
Charles Bethea is a writer living in Sante Fe, NM. He is the award-winning author of numerous essays, and his first collection is forthcoming this fall. He is an editor for Outside’s GO magazine.
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