Vodka and Cigarettes
by Danish Aziz
Hello Bay Aryans,
Gotham may have Batman, but we’ve got the Brown Twins and Frank Chu!
According to this scientifically certified online quiz I am only 56% miley, how about you? I think I’m probz/maybz too much of an intellectual to score any higher. At the same time, I like a humble pizzone as much as the next guy, so who knows. Enough about me though, let’s talk about you because you are unique and interesting.
After my gentle chastising last week, it looks as though you guys are finally getting the hang of ASK DNMRK! Whatever it was, keep it up (unless it involves needles). Today’s e-mail comes from “Shirtless In Seacliff”:
Dear DNMRK, I live NorCal (North of California Street) but I am rly interested in this kute boi who lives “south of the border.” Un4tunately, I’ve been living north of the border for a couple of years now and my wardrobe is hopelessly mainstream. Can you plz give me some tips on what the South of California Street But North of South San Franciscans are wearing these days? Thx!
– Shirtless In Seacliff (lol)
S.I.S.L., it sounds like you’re in a real pickle. Alt/Mainstream relationships can be difficult – especially if the question of children ever arises – so I applaud your bravery and willingness to convert to alt. I’d love to help, but my formal training is primarily in music and partying. I do, however, know of just the place to get an answer.
At Style Bay Area you can find the latest trends in SF and world alt fashion. As far as I can tell, the key is to look as much like a homeless gay cartoon character from the 80s as possible, so run with that. Think alcoholic Cheetara, Strawberry Shortcake having a bad trip, or He-Man and Optimus Prime grinding at Badlands circa 1983. Hope that helps!
Here’s what’s happening around town this week:
Wednesday, July 23
- LA Riots @ Vessel. I am not going to plug the fact that they’re giving away vodka and cigarettes.
- Magic Bullets @ Rickshaw Stop. Local indie bands, they’re just like us!
- The Duke Spirit @ Bottom of the Hill. Catch ’em at BOTH if you missed ’em at Download Festival.
- Wyclef Jean @ Mezzanine. That guy who rly rly likes Baruch Obama.
Thursday, July 24
- 4th Annual Afrofunk Music Festival @ The Independent. Featuring Darondo and many more!
- Darker My Love @ Rickshaw Stop.
“Hold On” – Holy Ghost (mp3)
Friday, July 25
- Stone Temple Pilots w/ Black Rebel Motorcycle Club @ Greek Theater. Velvet Revolver is (thankfully) dead, long live STP. BRMC aren’t bad either.
- Black Ghosts w/ Holy Ghost @ Mighty. Sounds scary, but should be safe.
- Dizzee Rascal @ Mezzanine. Dizzee killed it last time he was in town.
- Does It Offend You, Yeah? @ 330 Ritch. These guys aren’t exactly groundbreaking, but they’re pretty fun.
- The Crazy Crab returns for the Giants vs Brewers @ AT&T Park. SF is the only city cool enough to have an anti-mascot, and now he’s back after 24 years
- Red Vic’s 28th Birthday feat. Harold and Maude @ The Red Vic. Old men have been boning young women since the beginning of time, but Harold and Maude birthed the Cougar phenomenon.
“Reeling in the Years” – Steely Dan (mp3)
Saturday, July 26
- Steely Dan @ Greek Theater. Steely Dan were the ultimate studio band, so I’m not sure how that translates live, but with as many classics as they have under their belt it can’t be bad.
- Hercules and Love Affair @ Mezzanine. There’s nothing new about disco, this should be awesome.
- Bicycle Film Festival Street Party @ Capp Street between 16th and 17th. Bikes and alts.
- Film Night In The Park: The Breakfast Club @ Dolores Park. Classic Alts vs Mainstreamers movie.
“Yesterday’s Seen Better Days” – The Magic Bullets (mp3)
Sunday, July 27
- Point Break Live @ Fat City. Point Break LIVE!, is the absurdist stage adaptation of the 1992 Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze extreme-sports blockbuster that tells the story of former College football star, Johnny Utah, in pursuit of the surfing, bank robbing, skydiving, bare-hand-fighting adrenaline-junkie-cum-Zen-master Bodhi Sattva. Tickets will sell out by Friday so buy in advance.
“Abejitas” – El Guincho (mp3)
Monday, July 28
- El Guincho w/ Tussle @ The Independent. Animal Collective in Spanish and SF’s finest.
- No Age @ Great American Music Hall. I mean Colin Greenwood of Radiohead rocked a No Age t-shirt during one of their shows.
“Neck Escaper” – No Age (mp3)
“Needy Girl” – Chromeo (mp3)
Tuesday, July 29
- Jay Reatard @ The Independent. This is the right date, Flavorpill is wrong. Stay off the stage.
- The Hold Steady @ Mezzanine.
- Chromeo @ The Fillmore.
- Club Sandwich 2nd Anniversary with No Age and others @ LoBot Gallery in Oakland.
Wednesday, July 30
- Bloc Party w/ Does It Offend You, Yeah? @ The Fillmore. Hard to respect Bloc Party after they let a geriatric Johnny Rotten hate crime their lead singer.
- Joy Division and Control screening at @ Mezzanine.
– D¥ (D-Yen not “doyenne”)
P.S. I will be in NYC next week so no DNMRK until 8/8/8 at the soonest.
Danish Aziz is the contributing editor to This Recording. He lives in the Bay Area.
“Your Little Hoodrat Friend” – The Hold Steady (mp3)
BE THE LINKS YOU WANT IN THE WORLD
alt celebs get quirky
bananas in the urban landscape
built st. louis
winning the lottery changes u:
“There are problems that are going to be big problems,” Skintej said. “He’s a millionaire now. He should stay a millionaire. He’s a jerk. He’s the biggest jerk.”
lorne michaels getting stalked
carp clean your feet
airforce joyride
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
Death Cab For Cutie’s Ben Gibbard
This Recording 
Buzzkill:
Crazy Crab night was LAST Friday.
This Recording Contributing Editor Danish Aziz said the Crazy Crab would be at the Giants Game this Friday, but judging by the explosive reaction to the week’s SF Denmark, most readers saw it as altogether false and most were furious at This Recording. This Recording did not offer independent proof, like the text messages between Detroit’s mayor and a female aide that The Detroit Free Press disclosed recently, or the photograph of Donna Rice sitting on Gary Hart’s lap.
– D’Aziz
The Public Editor
The public editor serves as the readers’ representative. His opinions and conclusions are his own.
I have a Crazy Crab bobblehead now and I keep thinking it’s gonna come to life at night and kill me. It really looks like it wants to.
I thought I’d seen something like the Bruce Wayne/Alfred Internet exchange before… turned out I was right:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/7/16/brains-with-urgent-appointments/
I smell infringement! Also, french fries.
If you have to pose this question? to yourself.
Am I an Alt? than you are not.