In Which We Spend Twenty Minutes Reading About Staph Infections on WebMD.

“Talk About Infectious Television! Right, You Guys?!”

by Tyler Coates

Project Runway Week 5

If this season of P-Run is successful at anything, it’s making me feel guilty for being an asshole.

I knew that Jack left the show because of a staph infection before the show started because I read it online about two months ago. When last night’s episode began and Jack’s lip was all puffed up and he looked like one of the Whos from How The Grinch Stole Christmas, I was like, “Good. I don’t like him and I’m ready for him to go.”

And then things got all emotional and I felt really bad because, yeah, MRSA sucks, too, I guess. I blame my apathy on a friend who had it over the summer and let it go untreated; it eventually healed and he just told people it was a spider bite. (It’s all your fault, Jackie.)

This is the second week I’ve felt guilty for making fun of someone for something they couldn’t really control, but can we all remember the type of stuff this show is throwing in our face? For example:

Can I get a What What? If you can look at that without laughing, you are made of stone.

This show is surely teaching me a lesson, which is that you should immediately feel sorry for those you make fun of. Which is fine, honestly, because I’ve got a lot of growing up to do.

I do wish, however, that Christian had MRSA. Is that a horrible thing to say? I surely hope the producers of this show will never make me feel bad for hating that dipshit.

I do wish, however, that Christian, who won last night, had MRSA.

At the very least, I’d like to see him get head lice like the girl on Return to Fat Camp.

“Guilt” – Marianne Faithfull (mp3)

“We’re Both So Sorry” – Mirah (mp3)

Apparently, Jack is just fine now and gaying it up on YouTube:

(via Project Rungay)

Now that I’ve addressed the Jack issue, I can share my exciting story. On Monday evening, as I was heading home from work, I saw STEVEN at my bus stop on Michigan Avenue! I knew he was from Chicago, and two of my friends see him regularly on his commute. In the amount of time it took me to whip out my cell and compose a mass text, he turned and started walking away from the bus stop.

And yes, he is as creepy as he looks on the TV.

I was kind of disappointed that he was kicked off this week. Not because he didn’t DESERVE IT for making a French maid’s uniform.

(By the way, did you notice how he told the hair stylist to make his model look French? He walked into those criticisms as if he slammed head first into a French door.) (Do you see what I did there?)

I was kind of bummed that he didn’t get to stick around, only so I could tell everyone, “You know he’s going to get kicked off eventually. Who wins a reality show competition and then takes the CTA to work?!”

I should also say that I once ran into Dale from Top Chef on the street. I’ve basically seen half of the celebrities in Chicago (I’ve yet to meet Oprah or Joan Cusack). And since Dale is now dating Jack (I hope they don’t give each other Eskimo kisses!), I think it’s clear that Project Runway is haunting my waking life.

Back to French people:

Michael Kors told Chris that his dress made his model look like a 1950s-era French prostitute. What is with Bravo stars and French prostitutes?

My final thought: Heidi is looking more like a Muppet each week:

Tyler Coates is a contributor to This Recording. He lives and blogs in Chicago and, like Steven, is dependent on public transportation.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Maybe links would have been something you’d be good at.

Molly’s future came on little cat feet.

George and The New Yorker.