This Recording


In Which Girls Relate To Billy Madison Too You Know
March 23, 2009, 4:05 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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I Love You, Man

by Molly Lambert

I Love You, Man
Wr/Dir: John Hamburg
2009

Critics were split on I Love You, Man and so was the crowd I went with. Half thought it was funny (if not memorable) and inoffensive and the other half thought it was bland and misogynistic. I remember a similar argument after Knocked Up where a female friend defended Leslie Mann’s character’s actions against a guy arguing that Paul Rudd’s husband character had done nothing wrong. Bromantic passions run high.

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run, run, run from adult responsibilities

What’s bland is not Paul Rudd’s character, who’s actually quite well sketched out, but Jason Segel’s. Which is strange because Segel’s brand of creepy-funny seems like an ideal match for Rudd’s muddled adorableness. I was expecting something more along the lines of The Zoo Story or The Cable Guy.

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oh no, not another big set piece!!!

Instead what happens is that Segel’s character seems to shift from scene to scene to suit the needs of the questions posed to Rudd’s character. Which could also be funny, but it’s just kind of confusing. Lots of ideas are set up and never returned to again. There are some really funny bits in the movie and the chemistry between Segel and Rudd is charged with a first date giddiness, but the film never quite makes the leap from good to great.

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Andy Samberg and Paul Rudd demonstrate two different delicious flavors of handsome Jewish guyness

Comedies have focused on male immaturity for more or less all of time. What is so weird about these movies to real life slacker girls like me is the way they all portray women as inherently responsible. I must have slept through that memo. Women are always shown being driven endlessly towards goals of marriage, responsibility, financial security, with the men bucking against it.

Jon Favreau as Alex Carnevale in the future

Besides Charlyne Yi, girls in these comedies tend to all get cast in this light. The single friend in I Love You, Man (the charming Sarah Burns, memorably from a FOTC episode) is typed as desperate for a man, any man. Most of her laughs come from this, and she’s really funny. But in a movie where a single male character who doesn’t have his shit together is portrayed as having a life worthy of emulation, it feels a little bit sexist.

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they live in Silverlake, naturally

Rashida Jones is as winning as she can possibly be, but she is meant to be the Ralph Bellamy of this love triangle and has no chance against a Rush covers montage. By the time the movie gets to the couple questioning their decision to get engaged I was pretty sure they ought to break up. Like in Apatow movies, a lot of timely and sensitive real life issues about gender and relationships are touched upon and then buried under jokes.

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Segel and Rudd display two brands of feminine masculinity

The only trailer that ran before the movie was for Inglorious Basterds, which was strange. Despite the fact that I finally just saw (and loved) Death Proof, I can’t feel myself getting that stoked for a war movie, even a Quentin Tarantino war movie. I’m just not sure I care yet about B.J. Novak and Samm Levine murdering Nazis. Can I give you a maybe? If it were a World War One movie I’d be so down.

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even though Mahnola Dargis really hated ILYM, she agrees with all of humankind that Paul Rudd is the fucking cutest ever

War movies are the ultimate bromances. They have the same message as most of these comedies; that nothing in the world is better, more fun, or more awesome than the not-gay but gayish close friendships between straight men. Most movies violate Bechdel’s rule so flagrantly that it’s depressing to talk about.

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What we need are more girlmances. I guess Sex and The City is a girlmance. Big Love is definitely a girlmance. Gossip Girl is a gossip girlmance. Little Darlings is a great classic girlmance. I have high hopes for the long-rumored Amy Poehler and Isla Fisher collaboration Groupies if it comes to fruition.

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One thing I Love You, Man got completely right: Sunday night programming on HBO really IS amazing. Or at least it was until ten last night, when Big Love and Eastbound & Down wrapped up their seasons. I was already subjected to one Entourage promo tonight and had to wash my eyeballs out with Axe bodyspray. When does Curb start again?

Rudd and Segel are in "Love"

Ashton snaps a pic of Demi bending over at Bruce Willis’s wedding to a fetus. Planet Hollywood, bay bay!

Ciara and Justin Timberlake make love and sex and magic

Rachel McAdams reads Haruki Murakami

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

We will come to a point.

We can’t overcome that.

This is a bad matchup.

This Recording. What happens on the island stays on the island.



In Which It’s Not Gay Unless The Boobs Touch
March 11, 2009, 8:37 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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Lesbian Chics

by Molly Lambert

Just because The L Word is over doesn’t mean you’re at a loss for hot same-sex television pairings. Forget the endless seduction wankfest that is Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, it’s all about the tender loving care made manifest by Blair and Serena.

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OMG CUTEFEST ON THE MET STEPS, AND NO BOYZ!!!

In the wake of so many bromosocial movies and sitcoms and fan-fiction about threesomes between Obama, Joe Biden, and Rahm Emmanuel, we have no choice but to champion an alternative sisterly kind of love. A deep feminine bond.

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If you’re in the dark about “shipping” and what it means for a Big Love fan to “ship” Barb and Margene, you can learn up at Fan Secrets. Unless you’d rather just not know about the dark underbelly of the internet. It’s a strange and deviant world.

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Blair: “sorry Chuck. I love you but I’ve chosen dykeness.”

Kanye And The Real Girl

In a time when the economy is crumbling and heterosexual relationships are fraught with violence, who can be blamed for taking safe refuge in the (beautiful in totally different ways) bosoms of rich and fashionable fictional socialites.

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power lesbians Amber Rose and Pink planning a business lunch

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Kanye’s girl got a (ex) girlfriend

Pretty sure Amber Rose’s ex girl could take Kanye in a fight.

Perpetual belle of twitter John Mayer has a man-boner for Kanye, likes sex and he’s good at it.

More pictures of Kanye and new girlfriend Amber Rose

channeling Lady Gaga and Archie Andrews

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Beyonce and Bey-Z, the ultimate in being a diva

Keri Hilson and a still mulleted Kanye reenact the androgynous Andrew McCarthy and Ally Sheedy sex scene from St. Elmo’s Fire which we wrote about recently.

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Kelly Clarkson’s new single “I Do Not Hook Up” is about eschewing casual sex in favor of a longer lasting emotional connection. It was written by Katy Perry, of last year’s bisexual crossover hit “I Kissed A Girl.”

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Which begs the question, can you be a bisexually curious prude? What does that entail? Lots and lots of scissoring? Third wave feminism is red pandas.

I’m a ninth wave feminist. What does that mean? You’ll find out when you get here. Get on my level, womyn.

Other Gay Couples We Like:

Steve Buscemi and Paul Rudd (kute!!!)

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Jason Segel and Alex Carnevale’s favorite actor Jack McBrayer

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Jason Segel and Paul Rudd do “Dracula’s Lament”

Back in the dull heteronormative world, Emily Gould convinced me to resurrect my short-lived but remarkably successful (thank u Ed Westwick fans!) ladyporn venture Mrs. Skin, now with her contributions. So if you are a straight girl or gay dude or bisexual octopus person come check out our gallery of hot menfolk. Occasionally NSFW.

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

YOWWWWWW KELLY CLARKSON!

I Do Not Hook Up – Kelly Clarkson: (mp3)

Don’t Let Me Stop You – Kelly Clarkson: (mp3)

Long Shot – Kelly Clarkson: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Scarlett Johansson ♥s Natalie Portman

The 9 Year Old Pickup Artist

Blair And Chuck And Devin The Dude 4 Eva

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This Recording Is A Boston Marriage Between Equals



In Which This Is Sort Of About Shaq’s Twitter
March 4, 2009, 6:34 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Democracy Super America

by Molly Lambert

Have a coke. Go fucking crazy!

What’s great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it.

- Andy Warhol

“As We May Think” is an essay by Vannevar Bush, first published in The Atlantic Monthly in July 1945. Bush argued that as humans turned from war, scientific efforts should shift from increasing physical abilities to making all previous collected human knowledge more accessible. He also helped invent the atomic bomb.

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The Internet Of Things

Coke Art

Memex

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Selena was a spokesperson for Coca-Cola from 1989 till the time of her death. She filmed three commercials for the company. In 1994, to commemorate her five years with the company, Coca-Cola issued special Selena coke bottles.

Coca-Cola was the first-ever sponsor of the Olympic games, at the 1928 games in Amsterdam, and has been an Olympics sponsor ever since.

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The Coca-Cola Company has been criticized for its business practices as well as the alleged adverse health effects of its flagship product. A common criticism of Coke based on its allegedly toxic acidity levels has been found to be baseless by researchers; lawsuits based on these criticisms have been dismissed by several American courts for this reason.

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There are some consumer boycotts of Coca-Cola in Arab countries due to Coke’s early investment in Israel during the Arab League boycott of Israel. This contrasts sharply to Pepsi which stayed out of Israel. Mecca Cola and Pepsi have been successful in the Middle East as an alternative.

Fanta has its origins in Nazi Germany, when a trading ban was placed on Germany by the Allies during World War II. The Coca-Cola company therefore was not able to import the syrup needed to produce Coca-Cola in Germany.

As a result, their chief chemist, Dr. Schetelig, decided to create a new product for the Germany market created using only ingredients available in Germany. They called the new product Fanta.

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Tyler Coates Buys The World A Coke

Olympic Cermonies and Large Hadron Colliders

Guy Debord’s Society Of The Spectacle

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In Which I Just Blogged To Say I Hate You
February 17, 2009, 10:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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BALLISTIC: BANS VS. LAMBERT

by Lauren Bans and Molly Lambert

He’s Just Not That Into You
dir. Ken Kwapis

“I actually suffered one of those exact rotten guys only maybe two weeks ago. It was just like a scene in the movie. I was at a bar. A fellow who’d texted me promised follow-up texts. I sent follow-ups when I didn’t get anything from him. And I made the excuse to myself that my phone must’ve been blocked. That I didn’t hear it. That it had SIM card issues. I told my mother. She said, ‘Call him.’ People at the bar said to me, ‘You’re acting out from the movie. He’s just not that into you.’ So I reluctantly decided the hell with him.” – Ginnifer Goodwin

Bans: So according to that opening montage our moms and female friends are the ones inadvertently responsible for brainwashing us into believing we’re too amazing for the doods who break up with us. I never even thought of it that way. What stoopid betches. I’m going to disown my Mom.

Lambert: I was not bored for the retardedly long 2 hours and 15 minutes running time. I wasn’t mad initially, but then the more I thought about it postmortem, the madder I got.

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Lambert: I feel like this movie was the girl version of Sin City in some ways. Really simplistic and totally sexist but occasionally satisfying.

Bans: Love Actually is just as sexist, only more insidiously!

Lambert: definitely but it coated the misogyny with Xmas fluff.

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Lambert: This movie was at least sort of “Woody Allen” themed so I expected serious discussions between white people in nice apartments and title cards and on those counts I was duly satisfied.

Bans: Very Woody Allen-esque! I think the Woody Allen Gaze is perhaps more dangerous than the regular “male” gaze, for it’s coated in the kind of intellectualism that makes it seem okay to boink your 17 year old stepdaughter.

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the WAG (Woody Allen Gaze), demonstrated

Bans: That said, I love him and I may have internalized WAG. My major sexual fantasy is walking into a room to see ScarJo on a table naked, covered in Lox, reading Tolstoy.

Lambert: speaking of sultry Jewesses, did you hear Ryan Gosling might be dating Natalie Portman? Fucking sad day in McGoslingville.

Bans: No!!!!!!! RACHEL AND RYAN FOREVER!!!! I thought Rachel Getting Married was the footage of their wedding mashed up with The Notebook, no?

Lambert: Unexpectedly charmed by Justin Long!

Bans: I was also unexpectedly charmed by Justin Long. So much so that I bought 4 Macbooks as soon as I got home. Though he’s terrible as the narrative voice of the “He’s Just Not That Into You” philosophy, his storyline is more like “He Doesn’t Even Know How Into You He Is.”

Lambert: Justin Long was so charming that he kind of transcended the material. In fact, so was Ginnifer Goodwin, and their scenes together seemed really adorable even though in retrospect he was written as a tremendous douchebag who changes at the very last second (just as we are warned multiple times is the exception, and not the rule, in dating.)

Bans: I actually found Ginnifer decidedly uncharming, besides for her haircut and wardrobe. She kind of made me feel uncomfortable being a woman.

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Lambert: I love Jennifer Aniston. I don’t even care that she always has to play opposite dogs.

Bans: I love Jennifer Aniston too. She has her sanity. Should I cut my hair like Ginnifer’s?

Lambert: don’t cut your hair like Ginny’s. remember that she has a Mormon haircut.

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Bans: Drew Barrymore’s lisp gets worse with each rejection. I liked how the script accommodated her impediment by having Kevin Connolly tell her at the end, “Your face doesn’t match your voice. In a good way.” Thank god that girl has a face!

Lambert: I was hoping she’d be like “I hope your dick doesn’t match your height.” Perhaps I ask too much.

Bans: HAHAHA. That movie is called “He’s Just So Way, Way Up Into You.”

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Bans: I also liked how the subtle undertone of the Kevin Connolly/ ScarJo plot was “Dood, she’s too hot for you.” That was the only unsexist thing in the movie. Enough with Apaturdian doods thinking they deserve chicks way out of their league.

Lambert: yeah I appreciated that it showed the issue from both sides. A guy stringing a girl along for sex = a woman stringing a dude along for cuddles and pep talks. Kevin Connolly was a chump, just like his character on Entourage. But who wouldn’t get chumped by ScarJ and her incredibly prominent boobs.

Bans: Totes, and poor ScarJo had to pay for her soulless slut ways at the end– what was she in the last montage, a depressed lounge singer on qualudes? Plus the movie wouldn’t even run a clip of her actually singing. That’s got to sting. I am so surprised she could not work at least one Tom Waits cover into the script. She needs a new agent.

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Bans: But on that: I am scared for when ScarJo starts aging. She needs to go to college.

Lambert: all of ScarJo’s talk about how she has to show her boobs off while she’s young makes me think she’s worried about aging the way of Brigitte Bardot. Then again Scarlett has Jewish genes, which might fortify her beauty.

Bans: MySpace as the “hook up” website? Hello, what is this, 2001?

Lambert: I think this movie was on the shelf for a while, hence MySpace as the hookup website.

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Bans: I am annoyed they didn’t confront emo-caddery at all. Basically all menfolk keep in contact nowadays, the more insidious dating types are the ones who write/txt/wax emo poetic but have no follow-through. I think it’s a recession thing – words are super cheap. That’s why I date T.I. who says I can call whenever I like.

Lambert: ugh yes people who have online/text game but no real life presence are the worst. that’s why I think this movie was interesting, because it did bring up some of those issues. essentially it was a big budget Hollywood mumblecore.

Bans: That was Drew Barrymore’s entire purpose in the movie. She totally got cast as the “new technology dater”, and communicated with men over all these weird mediums like MySpace, txt msg, Blackberry, Email. That is why she had so many gay friends in the movie. She was, like, way more advanced than the other characters. Also, are real estate ad sale companies notoriously gay or did she work for the paper itself?

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Lambert: how awk do you think it is between Justin Long and Drew Barrymore on the press tour? how embarrassing is it when you get your cute new younger bf a job and then the relationship implodes and you still have to promote the film?

Bans: I’m sure they slept together during production, if only to ease the tension.

Lambert: The same thing happened with Cam Diaz and Justin Timberlake with Shrek 3. Note to Charlie’s Cougars: if you emasculate your boyfriend by using your Hollywood A-List status to get him a job, he will dump u. Let him book his own Alpha Dogs, k?

Bans: From what I can tell from my glossy reading, Drew seems to be the kind of girl who likes to be friend-exes. Mostly because I imagine if someone dislikes her it’s a refutation of her entire being.

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Lambert: none of the character’s motivations made sense, like Bradley Cooper and Ben Affleck wouldn’t be BFF if Brad is really such a dick and Ben’s really such a good guy.

Bans: why did they show the preview for the movie All About Steve in which Sandra Bullock stalks Bradley Cooper after their 1st date until he starts to fall in love with her? mixed msgs much? I am so confused.

Lambert: Bradley Cooper does not have “an ass that makes me want to dry hump.” He has hair that makes me think about getting highlights. And a body that makes me consider pilates.

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Bans: Bradley Cooper does have a fantastic body, which actually makes him a little weird for rom-coms. I feel like usually rom coms are reserved for the face actors, action movies for the body actors. Bradley Cooper has an asshole face. Not that it’s not cute, he just looks like an asshole. Ryan Reynolds really paved the way for hot-bodied asshole types in the leading man romcom genre, because Bradley Cooper is ALL over the place now.

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Lambert: I loved Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck. We all know he has a thing for Jennifers. It was so ridiculous that this movie took place in Baltimore. I loved the Domino Sugar neon sign in their window.

Bans: They had really good chemistry. I wish one of them wouldn’t have been white.

Lambert: I was waiting for actors from The Wire and there were none, but Luis Guzmán played the construction foreman and Kris Kristofferson played Jennifer Aniston’s dad.

Bans: Where were all the people from The Wire? Everyone knows when you film a Baltimore movie you cast Wire actors. Hello, Step Up 1 & Step Up 2 are basically The Wire, with some dancing thrown in.

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Lambert: Jennifer Connelly seemed out of place, but what better contrast to Scarlett’s alternate brand of voluptuary beauty? Like, could they be more different? Aside from being beautiful high-paid Hollywood actresses married to B-List actors.

Bans: I was really touched when Jennifer Connelly broke the mirror and grew a spine. I made some tears.

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Lambert: I kept comparing it to Adaptation, in that it spends the first two thirds of the movie sort of setting up these rules for itself, and then the last act breaking all of them. But joylessly!

Bans: Basically I left the theater gleefully gurgling, “IZ CAN HAS BOOYFWIEND????” and sucking my thumb.

Lambert: the underlying message of this movie was?

Bans: It’s always a good idea to have a boat, as a back up.

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Lauren Bans and Molly Lambert are into you, okay?

You Ain’t It – Sleater Kinney: (mp3)

Why Not Your Baby – Dillard & Clark: (mp3)

Ballad Of Big Nothing – Elliott Smith: (mp3)

I Know I’m Not Wrong – Fleetwood Mac: (mp3)

I Won’t Be Good For Nothin’ – Lefty Frizzell: (mp3)

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A House Is Not A Home – Luther Vandross: (mp3)

I’m Not In Love (10cc cover) – Red Red Meat: (mp3)

Nothing – Love: (mp3)

You Are Not Needed Now – Townes Van Zandt: (mp3)

I Think I Thought I’d Nothing Else To Think About – The Chills: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Annie Hall; still the best romantic comedy ever made

Why we are the way that we are.

Frank O’Hara was the man.

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This Recording is the awkward space between you on the couch



In Which Text Messaging Ruined Dating But So Does This Movie
February 11, 2009, 5:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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He’s Just Not That Into You

by Sarah LaBrie

I wanted to not hate this movie because hating it seemed too easy and because the preview wasn’t entirely unfunny and because the author of the book it’s based on wrote one of my favorite psychological treatises of all time, “It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken” which, look, shut up.

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A few minutes in I gave up and started coming up with titles that maybe would have been more appropriate:

He’s Just Not That Into Also Scarlett Johannsen Has Breasts

OMG! Girls! They Just Don’t Know When To STFU, Right?!

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Scarlett Johanssen Boobs! Let Me Show You Them!

Drew Barrymore Is In This Movie We’re Not Sure Why Either

Jennifer Aniston Takes A Wife

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sorry girls, this will never happen to you in a million years

I think I might accidentally be this film’s target audience. I’m 23 and single and I live in Los Angeles and I’ve had one real boyfriend ever but it was in college so it doesn’t even count. Also I paid to see the Sex and the City Movie and am not as ashamed of that fact as I could be. But where Sex and the City was scripted by women and the gay men who love them, this movie seems to have been written by someone who has never actually met one and instead got all of their ideas about what females are like from the advice columns of Cosmopolitan circa 1998.

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but you probably will get dumped by post-it or text msg

Break-ups suck and so does dating boys who are not as interested in you as you would like them to be. But by the time you’ve listened to 69 Love Songs on repeat enough times to rememorize all the words you’re usually done feeling sorry for yourself and ready to move on. Sometimes boys are jerks and sometimes girls are crazy but in the end time passes and things wind up okay because what other choice do they have?

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But if boys were as consistently awful as Justin Long’s character is in this movie and girls were as mind-numbingly insane as Ginnifer Goodwin’s, mutual hatred would have won out over sexual attraction generations ago and none of us would be around to complain about each other anyway.

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He’s Just Not That Into You’s premise seems to be that if Jennifer Aniston doesn’t get proposed to and Goodwin doesn’t find a boyfriend womankind as a whole will succumb to an apocalyptic fate of dog-marrying and getting cackled at by scary old ladies with big hair.

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All the characters have rhyming names and the whole story takes place in a world where people under 30 still have landlines and answering machines and Justin Long can reject Kim Kelly without getting his face clawed off. Whatever.

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Don’t get me wrong, the script makes some valid points. “When guys act like they don’t give a shit, it’s because they don’t give a shit” is pretty solid, if syllogistic, advice. It is also true that there is a certain type of girl who will run straight into the arms of the last boy who showed any interest in her whether she’s into him or not if the boy she actually likes is mean to her. But these are the kind of lessons you learn from experience, I think, and not romantic comedies.

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So, look, what I’m saying is there is no reason for anyone to see this movie ever. If you are going through a breakup and a well-meaning friend tries to make you, email me instead and I will burn you a copy of Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space so you and Justin Pierce can get through this bullshit together. In the meantime, here are some Fun Facts:

1. Ginnifer Goodwin’s first big onscreen role was in a Comedy Central original movie called “Porn ‘n Chicken” which sounds like a viable business plan to me.

2. Wilson Cruz, Rickie Vasquez from My So-Called Life is alive and well and in this movie. He was also recently featured in a TV series called “Rick and Steve the Happiest Gay Couple In All The World.”

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Quoth his IMDB bio: “’Does the handsome young actor think of himself as an Hispanic role model? “I don’t know if I believe in role models,” Wilson reflects. “We’re all so different; we’re all individuals. In the long run, that’s what matters.’”

3. In German He’s Just Not That Into You translates to “Er steht einfach nicht auf Dich!” which Babelfish reverse translates to “It does not stand simply on you!”

Sarah LaBrie is the senior contributor to This Recording. She is a writer living in Los Angeles. She writes here, and she tumbls here.

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SLB on Revolutionary Road

SLB on Slumdog Millionare and Synecdoche

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Temptation Inside Your Heart – The Velvet Underground: (mp3)

The Heart You Break May Be Your Own – Patsy Cline: (mp3)

Heartbroken – Aaliyah: (mp3)

Office Of Hearts – Guided By Voices: (mp3)

Smarter Hearts – Superchunk: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

We will come to a point.

We can’t overcome that.

This is a bad matchup.



In Which Pluto Needs To Be Loved Just Like Any Other Planet Does
February 2, 2009, 3:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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Plutian Love : An Outer Space Baby Making Soundscape

by Ben Lambert

Pluto is no longer a planet. But Pluto still has feelings.

Pluto isn’t a person, but Pluto has a heart.

Plutian Love.

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When the other planets stopped loving Pluto, Pluto was hurt.

Love can hurt.

Plutian Love.

Pluto still exists. Pluto can still love. Pluto loves music.

This is the music Pluto loves.

Plutian Love.

LAMBO PRESENTS FOR YOUR FEBRUARY LISTENING

(In association with This Recording and Laundromat United)…

Plutian Love : An Outer Space Baby Making Soundscape

This Recording Radio, Broadcast #2 – PLUTIAN LOVE: (mp3)

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Tracklist:

Space Intro – Steve Miller Band (non-playing mofo)

Love (Interlude) / Spacey Love- Rick James

You Are My Starship – Norman Connors

Rocket Love – Stevie Wonder

4:30 AM (Interlude) / Private Party – Sleepy’s Theme

Your Hands – Röyksopp

Mermaid – Sade

Tea Leaf Dancers (feat. Andreya Triana) – Flying Lotus

Bullet Proof Soul – Sade

Blac Mermaid – Society of Soul

Hurry Up This Way Again – The Stylistics

We Got To Work It Out – Taana Gardner

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Intimate Friends – Eddie Kendricks

Lovers Everywhere – LTD

Midnight Lovers – Passion

In The Mood – Tyrone Davis

Signal Your Intention – Hodges, James, & Smith

Station Identification (Interlude) – Mo B. Dick

Funky Ride – Outkast

Moments In Love – Art Of Noise

If Tomorrow Never Comes – Controllers

Portrait of Tracy – Jaco Pastorius

Munchies For Your Love – Bootsy Collins

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Catch up with This Recording Radio, download Broadcast #1

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Ben Lambert is musical director of This Recording

Lambo’s Aquarium

Lambo’s Tumbling Aquarium

Laundromat United

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PREVIOUSLY, ON THIS RECORDING:

Ben Lambert’s Birthday

Celebrities As Wee Little Babies

Spend A Day At Disneyland For Free

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In Which International Banking Seems To Have Gotten Sexier
January 30, 2009, 9:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Wasted Love

by Molly Lambert

“Jules, y’know, honey this isn’t real. You know what it is? It’s St. Elmo’s Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them. There was no fire. There wasn’t even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you’re making up all of this. We’re all going through this. It’s our time at the edge.” – Rob Lowe, from the worst monologue ever

St. Elmo’s Fire
dir. Joel Schumacher, 1985
currently on hulu

The thing about screen-capping movies is that it can make almost any movie look great, just by virtue of being competent. Reduced to a series of stills, even the most mediocre movies generally look artfully composed and well lit. A glossy movie like St. Elmo’s Fire, then, looks like Gregory Crewdson photographs.

Ally Sheedy and Judd Nelson, the upwardly mobile 80s couple

The people behind hulu (aka “the calabash gourd”) are geniuses for stocking the movie section with exactly the kind of trash you would watch on, say, cable television. To wit there are lots of popcorn flicks, 80s movies, the occasional classic, and bizarro drek like Toys. I’d never seen St. Elmo’s Fire. It’s ideal for hulu.

I have always found the notion of always hanging out in a favorite bar sort of sad. I think it’s because I grew up in California, where the weather doesn’t necessitate that you spend a quarter of your year trapped inside one room or another. Also we have to drive, which makes getting drunk way less fun.

oh and Rob Lowe is a top-billed saxophone player in a local band

However I know that in towns like DC and Boston (and most other cold places), having a regular spot to gather and huddle for warmth is required. This movie makes DC look gorgeous.

Judd Nelson is the OG Chuck Bass, equal parts sex and sleaze. He plays the former center of the gang, now sliding into right wing yuppification and cheating on college sweetheart Ally Sheedy. He has a natural Jewish charisma to him.

but instead of a big portrait of Charlotte Rampling it’s a Nike ad

His 80s moderne white apartment recalls Stardust Memories, a movie whose poster hangs in the other apartment where all the other bros live. As in Gossip Girl, it riffs fluffily on the themes of Woody Allen films, focusing mainly on “infidelity” and “parties.”

St. Elmo’s Fire implies at least twice that vigorously stalking a woman is a good way to win her over. Although, to be fair, it allows alky coke slut Demi Moore to escape being draped by Rob Lowe. Which makes it all the weirder when he comes to her rescue at the end of the film. Say hey to Demi on twitter.

People you definitely do not want to see during your drug-fueled mental breakdown: guys who tried to acquaintance date rape u.

Emilio Estevez’s character recalls fellow eighties psychopaths Lloyd Dobler and Judge Reinhold in Fast Times At Ridgemont High by pining scarily for a rich med school babe and then being rewarded in the movie by the woman finding it charming and not filing a restraining order or punching him in the dick.

token 80s scene of white guy lip-syncing a classic soul song

In St. Elmo’s Fire, everyone thinks Andrew McCarthy’s character is gay because he hasn’t had sex in so long. There’s also a black lady prostitute who repeatedly comes on to him. This movie has all the grey racism you’d expect from such a white movie. It’s basically White Privilege: The Movie.

No, McCarthy isn’t an icily repressed gay (as in Less Than Zero). He is that other trope, the celibate writer suffering for their art. We know he’s a writer because he smokes cigarettes and broods, and we know he’s celibate because every other line is somebody asking him when he’s going to get laid.

In this movie, unlike in Less Than Zero (where he had the fool’s errand of competing with Robert Downey Jr.), McCarthy is actually somewhat hot. His chemisty with Ally Sheedy benefits from how incredibly androgynous they both are. Their hair is cut into identical matching shags. During the sex scene, when no boobs are showing it’s impossible to tell who is who.

Ally Sheedy’s pearl necklace is the only way to tell them apart

It also touches on that classic youth novel theme, the gayness of intense homosocial relationships. Is Kevin in love with Ally Sheedy, or is he really just in love with Judd Nelson? Is it possible that he’s in love with both of them, but only as a couple, and mostly for the ideals they represent? Ideals he ultimately knows to be false? These are interesting thorny questions, and even touched on by such superficial characters they resonate.

What St. Elmo’s Fire really anticipates is the genre known disaffectionately as mumblecore. A bunch of white kids sitting around talking shit, staying up all night drinking and pouring their hearts out, and ultimately dealing with issues of love, sex, and adulthood. It’s the French New Wave via Reaganomics.

like Jules And Jim, but really, really ridiculous and in the eighties

I was also reminded of Donna Tartt’s novel The Secret History, which is similarly eighties and about a klatch of wealthy white east coast college students who are supertight buds for reasons that turn out to be fascinating and kind of gross.

The part about splitting records became especially touching when I realized that modern couples don’t really have to chop up their mp3 collections when they break up.

“You can’t have the Pretenders first album. That’s mine. You can have all the Billy Joel. Except The Stranger. No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons”

Ally Sheedy’s body languages says: she’s just not that into u

St. Elmo’s Fire also shows from both sides what it’s like when one person has been secretly harboring feelings for someone forever, and when given the chance to display those feelings goes overboard, which in turn repulses the object of their affections, who had no idea they were in so deep. Real talk.

From IMDB’s St. Elmo’s Fire trivia section:

Mare Winningham played a virgin while she was pregnant.

Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy and Judd Nelson all portrayed college graduates in this 1985 film, the same year all three actors also portrayed high school students in The Breakfast Club.

Demi Moore had a drug problem, much like her character when she was cast in the film. One day, director Joel Schumacher actually demanded that she leave the set because she was really high. Moore actually had to go through rehab and promise to stay clean in order to play a character with a drug problem.

Singer John Parr wrote “St. Elmo’s Fire” for the soundtrack. During a speech he said he was “not particularly thrilled” to be working on the film and that, motivation for the song actually came from a young man who had recently become paralyzed. “The wheels” of the Man in Motion referenced in the lyrics was popularly thought to mean the wheels of Demi Moore’s jeep, but actually refers instead to those of a wheelchair.

Movies That Share DNA With St. Elmo’s Fire:

Metropolitan

The Squid And The Whale

Wes Anderson, at his whitest

Reality Bites

High Fidelity

everything involving white kids talking about feelings

O to be a young white man in the U.S. in the 80s

Saints – The Breeders: (mp3)

Elmo Delmo – Stephen Malkmus: (mp3)

Baby’s On Fire – Brian Eno: (mp3)

Diamonds On Fire – Rubies: (mp3)

We gettin’ Arab Money!

Florida’s On Fire – Superchunk: (mp3)

Gazing At The Fire – Ignatz: (mp3)

I’ll Write Your Name Through The Fire – Shocking Blue: (mp3)

I’m On Fire – Dwight Twilley: (mp3)

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

In The City With Whitney Port And Chuck Bass

Alex Went To Deadwood And Came Back More Alive Than Ever

Lauren Bans Cherry-Picks The Alternative Oscars



In Which In The City There’s A Thousand Faces All Shining Bright
January 23, 2009, 6:49 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m Just So Tired Of All These Bride Wars

by Molly Lambert

Gossip Girl has been just okay for the past few weeks. Consequentially I ended up neck deep in MTV’s The Hills goes to New York spinoff The City. Did they give Whitney Port a voice coach? She still sounds weird and may or may not be a cylon.

Olivia Palermo’s stacked heels might weigh more than she does

The only decently entertaining character is the skinny bitch socialite (Olivia Palermo) when she’s not pretending to be nice. They’re setting her up to be the Heidi, but she’s already worse than Heidi. Heidi needed Spencer to be her Lady Macbeth.

Spencer Pratt is currently the most evil character in all of televisual fiction. The white blond Iago from Malibu easily smashes all competition (including the Real Housewives). Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl‘s opium den lurking bad boy is studded with numerous redemptive qualities (as is the sometimes annoying way of Josh Schwartz).

devil in a fleshtone fleshtone fleshtone devil in a fleshtone beard

Spencer Pratt, on the other hand, is a disgusting fleshtone bearded embodiment of pure evil. He’s like an allegorical character from a Hawthorne story, tempting good Puritans into a dark forest of staged photo ops and Taco Bell promotions.

I’m into the whole clash between the socs and the hipsters on The City. It reminds me of college. Both are just a bunch of rich kids fighting over whether it’s more alt/authentic to “slum it” or “embrace being wealthy.” I kind of side with the socs even though all of these people are assholes and I actually hate them.

Whitney girl, I will throw all of my shrimps on your barbie

My roommate Jess said, about the language barrier in Whitney’s relationship with (Australian Justin Bobby) Jay: “Are they having sex or what? All they’ve ever said is that they’ve been hanging out for a while. ‘Yes we like to hang out. we’ve been hanging out for some weeks now.’” I think that fairly astutely sums up the major problems of 21st century dating.

Daddy’s Girls, the Run’s House spinoff about Vanessa and Angela Simmons is much better than The City (which it follows). As befits MTV’s reality strategy, it’s basically a retrofitted Sex & The City in Los Angeles with black teen girls. So, it’s like a younger reality version of Girlfriends.

girlfriends-opening03-06

I always liked Girlfriends. I haven’t seen it lately in syndication. Like a lot of UPN shows, Girlfriends got unfairly shafted by the network. They were denied the closure of a series finale while the net continued to court the WB’s young white audience (the one that watched Dawson’s Creek and watches the new 90210).

we r just some kute mileys trying to make it in the big apple!!!

Unlike the ridiculously vacuous company Whitney keeps on The City, the Simmons girls and their friends are delightful. They’re funny, bubbly, and actually nice to each other. They don’t narrate the events that are happening to them like LC and her idiot friends do (i.e. “I’m cold.” “I’m drinking Smart Water.” “I feel sad.”)

speaking of adorable famous black sister pairs

While they are still styled within an inch of their life and obviously “on” for the cameras, Vanessa and Angela just seem intrinsically charismatic in a way that The Hills girls never ever do.They appear to live in Los Feliz but shoot the show on a soundstage that is just a repainted version of LC’s old apartment from The Hills. Way to conserve in a shaky economy whilst pushing the constraints of reality, MTV!

tru luv New York style for Whitney and Jay in “The City”

Anyway speaking of alternate realities, the rumor is that the new Gossip Girl spinoff will actually be about Lily Van Der Woodsen growing up in LA as a rich valley girl in the 80s. Take it with a grain of salt, but that’s kind of brilliant. Cecily von Ziegesar’s other (ghostwritten) series The It Girl is about Jenny Humphrey in LA, but making it be a period prequel is genius.

tru luv San Fernando Valley style for young Nic Cage in “Valley Girl”

The other thing this brings to mind is the soap-within-a-soap on The OC called The Valley. If Lily were really a valley girl, and the show was Fast Times At Dawson’s Creek. Well, I know I’d watch. [Full disclosure: I grew up in the San Fernando Valley].

My brother pointed me towards this weird profile of fellow child of the valley Paul Thomas Anderson from Esquire’s “75 Most Influential People Of The 21st Century.” You should read it too.

DJ Screw: Biggie vs. Pac

Me And My Girlfriend (chopped & screwed) – 2Pac: (mp3)

Who Shot Ya (chopped & screwed) – Notorious B.I.G.: (mp3)

Hit Em Up (chopped & screwed) – 2pac: (mp3)

Hypnotize (chopped & screwed) – Notorious B.I.G.: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Magic Molly Young Reviews The Gossip Girl Book Series

Science Corner Brings Gremlins And Pterosaurs

Bridget Moloney Debates New York And Los Angeles



In Which We Promise Not To Apophallate You
January 7, 2009, 6:38 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

SCIENCE CORNER ’09: Hey, Space Brother

by Molly Lambert

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Paleontologists claim they have unearthed a new type of pterosaur and a previously unknown sauropod dinosaur in the Sahara Desert.

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The banana slug, beloved mascot of UC Santa Cruz, has a weird mating habit. First of all, they have an enormous penis. (In fact, their latin name dolichyphallus translates to “giant penis.”) The average size of a banana slug penis is 6 to 8 inches. This is incredibly impressive, considering their entire body length is 6 to 8 inches as well! Banana slugs are hermaphrodites, so two slugs will try to fertilize each other.

bananaslug

To mate properly, a slug must choose a mate roughly its own size – if it miscalculates, its penis will get stuck during copulation. This isn’t just an embarrassing faux pas, the other slug will actually bite off the stuck penis, a term scientists euphemistically called “apophallation.”

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wats ur fave color of am appy neon techno mice powder?

Psychedelic Mice Reveal Clues to Disease Transmission

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the rare pink iguana

An extinct phylum that made pearls, Conularids.

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Gremlins, thought extinct, found after 82 years.

Giant Marine Life Found In Antarctica, including jellyfish with 12-foot tentacles and 2-foot-wide starfish. Learn more about how Jellyfish are going to take over the world and enslave us all Cthulhu style.

080320-mars-salt2-02

Salt Deposits a good indicator of Ancient Life On Mars

Frozen Semen Works in Rhinoceros Artificial Insemination

Yum, nootropics.

Some of the chemical pathways for physical pain and pain from social exclusion overlap. The physical pain system may have been co-opted to motivate social animals to respond to threats to their inclusion in the group. The physical-social pain overlap helps to explain the paradox that people who are threatened with social exclusion sometimes react with physical violence.

All octopuses are venomous but only a few species pose a significant threat to humans, such as octopuses in the genus Hapalochlaena which have a very poisonous bite.

blue_ringed_octopus_465x310

A few of the larger tropical cone snail species have a very poisonous sting. These bites and stings can sometimes be fatal.

Ouroboros researches aging.

Maximum Life Span.

Identical twins tend to die within 3 years of each other, whereas fraternal twins tend to die within 6 years. Aging theories associated with DNA include programmed aging (or programmed aging-resistance) and theories that link aging with DNA damage/mutation or DNA repair capability.

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

PREVIOUSLY ON SCIENCE CORNER:

The Early History Of Robots

Plants That Want To Kill You

A Giant Silvery Cloud Over The City

090106-pink-mouse-ff



In Which We Let Sixteen Former Sixteen Year Olds Advise You
December 31, 2008, 6:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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“Dear everyone, this is all your fault…”

Ring in 2009 by being glad you’re not a teenager anymore. Unless you still are one, in which case good luck, you need it. Luckily our experts are here to provide you with plenty of helpful tips for surviving the most awkward period of your life.

THE COMPLEAT ARCHIVED WORKS ON ADOLESCENCE

Part One (Rebecca Wiener)

Part Two (John Gruen)

Part Three (Tess Lynch)

Part Four (Jessica Grose)

Part Five (Molly Young)

Part Six (Lucas Stangl)

Part Seven (Andrew Zornoza)

Part Eight (Rachel B. Glaser)

Part Nine (Andrew Lasken)

Part Ten (Kevin Porter)

Part Eleven (Jamie Galen)

Part Twelve (Anna Dever-Scanlon)

Part Thirteen (Will Hubbard)

Part Fourteen (Kara Wentworth)

Part Fifteen (George Ducker)

Part Sixteen (Molly Lambert)

SOME GOOD OLD TUNES 2 PLAY 4 ’09

409 (live) – The Beach Boys: (mp3)

A Thousand Years – Relatively Clean Rivers: (mp3)

Here We Are In The Years (live, ’76) – Neil Young: (mp3)

One Hundred Years From Now (alt. take) – The Byrds: (mp3)

New Age – The Velvet Underground: (mp3)

Year 1 – X: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Literary Tattoos For You

20 Best Albums Of 2008

New York, New York, It’s A Helluva Town



In Which Emily Gould Spends A Rainy Sunday At The Museum
December 16, 2008, 10:30 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

59

The World Was On Fire

by Emily Gould

“Pour Your Body Out”

Pipilotti Rist at MOMA

The summer I was 16 my parents went temporarily insane and let me go to art camp at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. Ten years later, aka this past summer, I moved into an apartment a block away from the Pratt campus. The neighborhood has changed a lot in ten years; New York City in general has changed a lot. Also I have changed a lot, although possibly in some ways not enough.

At art camp I smoked pot for the first time, cheated on a boyfriend for the first time, and spent a lot of time waiting for the G train for the first time. I drafted a little template for my whole early adulthood in those two weeks, it now seems!

But one of my strongest memories from art camp is of going to a museum where I saw the video ‘I’m a victim of this song’ by Pipilotti Rist. My friend Bennett was visiting – he remembers things better than I do and he says it was the Whitney or the Guggenheim. All I remember is that we got obsessed and could crack each other up for months afterwards by singing Rist’s version of Chris Isaak’s ‘Wicked Game’ to each other.

Or screaming it to each other, really, I am talking about the part at the end where Rist takes the song a million miles away from Chris Isaak and Helena Christensen rolling around getting weird bits of black sand all stuck to their pouty bottom lips territory and just shrieks every line: “NO I DON’T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE! WITH YOU!”

‘Victim’ is more than just hilarious Swiss whimsy, though, I eventually realized. Unlike Isaak, Rist telegraphs actual meaning with every line. The deliberateness of her pronunciation means you have to actually think about the lyrics. “It is strange what desire will make foolish people do,” you find yourself musing.

This song is also notoriously easy to get stuck in your head, as the video’s title suggests. Song stickiness is something Rist, who used to be in a band called Les Reines Prochaines, thinks about a lot. Here, in one of her first videos, from 1986:

Rist jumps around with her breasts exposed and sings the first line of ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’ over and over again, cranked up to double-speed. Whenever I watch it I’m reminded of how one little piece of a song will sometimes reverberate through your head just like that over and over while you do some kind of repetitive activity like swimming or biking, and you’ll barely even realize that you’re thinking of the song until finally you do and then you laugh at how literal your subconscious is being, like for example if you are spending a lot of your time missing someone and the song-bit is “Hey, what’s the matter man? We’re gonna come around twelve with some Puerto Rican girls who are just dyin’ to meet you!

So yeah, Rist is not a girl who misses much.

“Times are tough and wild. Let’s hence look after the commonplace, the ordinary life. I’ll prepare something for you to eat; you watch TV, do yoga, smoke a joint.” – Pipi Rist

The other brilliant thing about her videos — besides their deft appropriation and repurposing and wild enweirdening of pop songs — is how visually arresting they are, and how they manage to be visually arresting without recourse to being grotesque, which distinguishes them from just about everything else you are likely to find yourself unable to look away from.

I was reminded of this the other day when I went to see the video installation that Rist has built in a multi-story atrium in the new(ish) MOMA building in New York. But first I watched this video of Rist talking about how this “kind of useless big room will be made to enlighten the body.”

“Huge rooms always mean to honor the spirit in a way, like a church, like it’s the house of God,” she continues — she’s wearing dorky thick-framed black glasses and a puffy bright yellow and orange jacket, as if she’s playing ‘wacky German-accented artist’ in an SNL sketch or something — “ And this is one of my biggest fights, to reconcile thinking and body.”

Also Rist says on a placard outside the atrium that she wants visitors to absorb “spiritual vitamins” from the piece, which is called ‘Pour Your Body Out.’

Keeping all this in mind, I set out on a dark cold rainy Sunday afternoon, walking past the Pratt sculpture garden to the G train, which came fairly promptly. I transferred to the E but got off too early, at 53rd and Lex, so I walked – it was really pouring – through the luxury shopping and sad office district that surrounds the MOMA.

Am I imagining this, or do lavish shop windows just look especially pathetic and false to everyone right now, as if the sad hollowness of material culture has been revealed once and for all? Possibly I’m imagining this. Probably there’s still someone somewhere who’s still in thrall to the idea of buying a new wardrobe for ‘resort’ season.

Anyway I walked into the MOMA, paid my $20, stuffed my dripping raincoat in my bag, walked into ‘Pour Your Body Out,’ took off my boots (no shoes allowed on the carpeted area) and lay down in the exact center of the room, which is this carpeted ring surrounded by a raised carpeted donut. Immediately I was swarmed on all sides by wide-eyed, joy-filled children, who unworriedly ran around me and over and into my legs as if I was just another pink pillow or lump of carpet.

One eight year old girl’s mom was trying to get her out of the carpeted circle:

“We have to go back to the hotel.”
“Fifteen more minutes!”
Maybe FIVE more minutes.”
“Fifteen more minutes!”
“Can you explain to me exactly what you find so fascinating about this place?”

She couldn’t. I can’t either, really.

It’s just three huge walls of projected oversaturated color, mostly landscapes and closeup views of grass and puddles and soft bodies which a camera zooms up and around and over, as if your tiny body is being astrally projected into these fantastical surroundings. Sometimes all three walls seem to display the same image and at other times they’re different.

One sequence captures the feeling you get sometimes in botanical gardens of wanting to grab the flowers and rub them all over your body and stick them up your nose and stuff. In another sequence, someone wades through a puddle full of shiny crushed aluminum cans and other bits of shimmering dross. In another, a warm pink body is rendered abstract by the camera’s swoops and dives.

At one point, as a green strawberry floated in viscous pink liquid across the screen, I surprised myself by having the clichéd though that it would be fun to come here on mushrooms, but then I imagined cranking up the intensity of the sound and color and the plush softness of the pillow-nest and the warm surrounding bodies just a tiny bit and realized, yikes no thank you.

Plus imagine if you were on mushrooms and you decided, as I did after half an hour or so of Pouring My Body Out, to poke around in the gallery right behind the atrium and you ended up stepping from the sepulchral warm pink to this small black grotto where Nan Goldin’s slideshow ‘The Ballad of Sexual Dependency’ plays for forty five minutes of every hour? You would be so. fucked.

Though I had seen most of these pictures individually or in books had never seen the whole ‘The Ballad of Sexual Dependency’ before and in some ways it’s like Rist’s videos’ perfect dark counterpoint, because while it’s also riveting it is emphatically grotesque.

from Nan Goldin’s The Ballad Of Sexual Dependency

Goldin’s photos and the funny/sad music that accompanies them – ‘Don’t Make Me Over’ plays over a pastiche of drag queens and tarted-up East Village party girls, that kind of thing – do seem artlessly grotesque – it would be unforgivable if they seemed to strive for grotesquerie. They’re just shiny disgusting completely unignorable portraits of a particular world, which is gone.

There is a whole dead New York world that lives forever in this dark room, trapped and pressed flat in here, living in colors as rich and saturated as the ones on the walls in the atrium. This artwork doesn’t contain any spiritual vitamins. But both rooms are what I came to see.

Emily Gould is a writer living in New York, a sometime yoga instructor and editor of Emily Magazine. This is her first appearance on This Recording.

Les Raines Prochaines mp3 from WFMU’s Beware Of The Blog

Der Urwald – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

Eating, Eating – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

Evening – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

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I Like The Sound Of Your Car – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

I Wanna Be A Butch – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

Schoener Sonntag – Les Raine Prochaines: (mp3)

The Lady Is Hungry – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

Wicked Game – Les Raines Prochaines: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Top Twenty Albums Of 2008

Will Hubbard Covers Cat Power

Lauren Bans Bombs Baz Luhrman’s Australia



In Which Sometimes It Takes Years
December 12, 2008, 6:35 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

The 9 Year Old Pick-Up Artist

by Molly Lambert

“Are you in touch with your inner child? Would you like to be?”

Alec Greven, 9, charms Tiffany and Jessica at Langan’s restaurant in Midtown on his “How to Talk to Girls” book tour.

cm-capture-2

Chuck’s Note To Blair: I’m Sorry, I Can’t, Don’t Hate Me.

The fourth-grader from Castle Rock, Colo., advises Lothario wannabes to stop showing off, go easy on the compliments to avoid looking desperate – and be wary of “pretty girls.”

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Bill Murray, Brooklyn Party Boy

“It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry,” he writes in Chapter Three.

This Guy Is An A Plus Example Of Peacocking

“Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil.”

Fuck the slow blogging movement. Medium-fast blogging FTW!

He advises, “The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don’t let them get to you.”

And you, and you, and you, you’re gonna love meeeeeeeeeee!

Over a few Shirley Temples yesterday at Langan’s on West 47 Street, Alec said that he culled his wisdom by peeking at his peers at play.

Brit Brit & Ellen: Baby I’m A Want You

“I saw a lot of boys that had trouble talking to girls,” Alec said. As for his how-to, he concedes, “I never expected people to buy it like a regular book in a bookstore.”

Aaron Rose has such unflattering chin pubes

But with classic plain-spoken advice – like “comb your hair and don’t wear sweats” – it’s no surprise his 46-page book was a hit with boys and girls of all ages.

Wallace Shawn is hawt. No really, think about it.

He believes the best way to approach a girl is to keep it to a simple hi. “If I say hi and you say hi back, we’re probably off to a good start,” he said.

Bob Dylan peacocking while executing a self-neg

As for his own love life, he said he is not dating anyone at the moment. “I’m a little too young,” he confessed.

Obama speechwriter Jon Favreau pitches Hillary an IOI

In his book, published by HarperCollins, he suggests holding off on falling in love until at least middle school. Dating – which he defines as going out to dinner without your parents – is for “kind of old” people, who are 15 or 16.

Ye Olde Consensual Rape Fantasye has been big in 2008

Alec – who just finished a children’s book on the Watergate scandal – said he wants to be a full-time writer when he grows up, with a weekend job in archaeology or paleontology.

I predict Jodorowskyian spiritual drug orgys for 2009

On having a crush:

“Many boys get crushes on girls. But it can be very hard to get a girl to like you. Sometimes it takes years! Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys. So what do you do if you have a crush on a girl? You need to get her to like you. You can also show off a skill, like playing soccer or anything else you’re good at.”

mystery

GRADE SCHOOL TO BED, MIDDLE TO WED!

If you are in elementary school, try to get a girl to like you, not to love you. Wait until middle school to try to get her to love you. Otherwise, you have to hold on to her for a long time and that would be very hard. Tip: Most boys in elementary school can hold on to a girl for only 30 days.”

This was a really good episode, actually

On gifts: “It is also good to give gifts. They don’t have to be big. Try to find out what she likes before you give her something. You should go around to her friends to get ideas. And I wouldn’t do flowers and gifts until you are older, like in middle school, because it seems weird in elementary school. Unless you go to a school dance.”

Nene does not support this 9 year old’s fuckery

Greven does not support the “just be yourself” method of dating — he recommends copying someone cool — but let’s be honest: sometimes that method doesn’t work. He warns against passing love notes, as they tend to get intercepted; he’s mercifully still a few years away from discovering the horrors of drunk dialing (ed note: u mean txting).

K Stewart and R. Pattz always look so stoned on their press tour

He refers to winning a girl as “winning a victory” and urges the boy to refrain from celebrating in front of his new girlfriend, lest she disapprove of his happiness and dump him.

Molly Lambert is the Managing Editor of This Recording

He Got The Girl – Marine Girls: (mp3)

She’s A Girl – The Amps : (mp3)

It’s Different For Girls – Joe Jackson: (mp3)

Girl U Knock Me Out – The Gap Band: (mp3)

First Girl I Loved – The Incredible String Band: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Don’t Hate The Game, Hate The Players

How To Be Single

Lindsay And Samantha: A Love Story



In Which We Get Motion Picturesque For Friday
December 5, 2008, 10:42 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

The World Is A Vampyre

by Molly Lambert

JUST WATCH THIS MUSIC VIDEO RIGHT NOW OKAY

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Lindsay Lohan

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Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

The Fear – Lily Allen: (mp3)

Everyone’s At It – Lily Allen: (mp3)

Naive – Lily Allen: (mp3)

I Could Say – Lily Allen: (mp3)

Who’d Of Known – Lily Allen: (mp3)

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PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

The Society Of The Spectacle

Part One: Semiotics Of Spears

Part Two: John Carpenter’s They Live

Part Three: Guy Debord & The Last Crusade



In Which We Predict That Industrial Slowgrass Mariachi Darkwave Chillcore Will Be The Next Big Thing In Music
November 25, 2008, 10:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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Just Gimme Indo-Rock!

by Molly Lambert

The information highway’s jammed with broken blog links on a last chance power drive. We remain extremely thankful that you read This Recording. We do it for you, and we do it for free, and we do it for the children like Wu-Tang.

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The 20th century is often historicized as a series of musical movements. The Blues gave way to Ragtime, Ragtime to Jazz, Jazz to Rock, Rock to Jazz-Fusion, Disco to Punk, Punk into New Wave. New Wave into Indie Rock, Funk into Rap.

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Genealogy of Musical Genres

There are no subcultures anymore. Or rather there’s only one, and it’s the internet. No cool trend can exist in secret anymore. Things don’t spread gradually, they spread immediately. The cool scene in every major city is identical now. The independent culture is more homogenized than ever before.

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Everything continues to happen at once all the time. It seems funny that people use musical preference to define themselves against one another. Music is clearly intended to bring people together, not divide them into camps.

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I like learning about new musical genres as much as I ever did. I spent a few nights recently reading about Indo-Rock:

The Netherlands had a fascinating subculture of emigre Dutch-Indonesians (Indo’s, Indonesian Eurasians and Polynesian Moluccans) who hit the instrumental rock scene in the years 1958 – 1965 and constituted the “Indo-Rock” movement, with groups like The Tielman Brothers, Electric Johnny & his Skyrockets, The Black Dynamites, The Crazy Rockers, Oety & his Real Rockers, The Javalins, The Hap-Cats and many more.

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Anyway, in case you feel like the internet has killed your will to be a music geek because of all the poseur assholes now, we sympathize. Here are some lesser-known genres to check into. Hopefully one will re-ignite the flame of your love for jams.

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The Aguinalderos (Carabobo, Venezuela, 1953)

Afro-Prog

Aguinaldo

Anatolian Rock

Apala

Avant-Garde Metal

Bachata

Beach Music

Beautiful Music

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Big Bumba-meu-boi in the Paço Alfândega cultural center, Recife

Boi

Braindance

Brukdown

Burger Highlife

Carnatic Music

Chiptune

Coldwave

Comedy Rock

D-beat

Danger Music

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Jan Werners, a Dansband – yes it’s real

Dansband

Darkcore

Desert Rock

Downtown Music

Duranguense

EAI

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Bronze statue of Enka singer Takashi Hosokawa, Hokkaidō

Enka

Ewe Drumming

Extreme Music

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António Chainho, Portuguese fado guitarist

Fado

Filk Music

Fulía

Funana

Fungi Music

Furniture Music

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Brian Eno, fan of Generative Music

Generative Music

Goa Trance

Guoyue

Gulf and Western

Hard NRG

Highlife

Huayño

Indo-Rock

Industrial Musical

Intuitive Music

Jing Ping

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Venezuelan Joropo, drawing by Eloy Palacios (1912)

Joropo

Jwé

Kaseko

Kuduro

Krautronica

Latin Alternative

Lento Violento

Light Music

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Buddy Holly, popularizer of the Lubbock Sound

Lubbock Sound

Mainstream Jazz

Manila Sound

Martial Music

Mezwed

Morna

Motorik

Neoclassical Dark Wave

Neoclassical Dark Wave

New German Hardness

New Beat

Nigun

Nonpop

Northwest Wind

Nu-Disco

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The Shaggs are Obscuro

Obscuro

Palm Wine Music

Parang

Pimba

Plastic Soul

Postgenre

Power Violence

Prison Rock

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a Progg rock band

Progg

Puirt A Beul

Quimbe

R&B Punk

Raï

Redgrass

Repetitive Music

Ripsaw Music

Santal Music

Santé Engagé

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Stars of Schlager

Schlager

Shanson

Slowcore

Slow Grass

Spouge

String

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Tagonggo

Tape Music

Texas Roadhouse Music

Threnody

Tombeau

Truck Driving Country

Uptempo

Venezuelan Polka

Waka Music

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Wassoulou musicians

Wassoulou Music

Womyn’s Music

Wonky

Xinyao

Yass

Youth Crew

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Molly Lambert is managing editor of This Recording

even more stubs for obscure musical genres

WFMU’s Beware Of The Blog

Dam-Funk

Galactic Fun – Dam-Funk: (mp3)

I Gots To Be Done With You – Dam-Funk: (mp3)

NightRyder – Dam-Funk: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Brian DeLeeuw’s call to Judas Priest

Brittany Julious is No Wave New York

Tyler Coates talks Sid & Nancy

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THIS RECORDING IS COME ON, LET’s SLOP



In Which It’s All About The Performance, Man
November 24, 2008, 2:00 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

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The Method of Method

by Sean Fennessey

In the October 27, 2008 issue of The New Yorker, critic-at-large Claudia Roth Pierpoint wrote a searching profile of iconic actor Marlon Brando, who has been dead for more than four years. What it was searching for is beyond me. The piece, which was recap-tastic, detailed a bedeviled Brando young and old, unable to get a handle on his gifts, ultimately rejecting acting mid-career in favor of civil and international service.

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no new taxes

This week, in an Entertainment Weekly cover story, Twilight star Robert Pattinson talked about his craft. Karen Valby writes:

Pattinson was 17 years old, and attending a prestigious private school in London, when he booked the part of doomed bloke Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. After the film wrapped in 2005, his English agent pushed him to pursue similarly earnest roles, but they no longer interested him.

Instead, he landed a lead as a troubled young man in the London stage production of the German play The Woman Before. ”At the time I really thought, ‘Wow, I must be great, I’m like fucking Brando!”’ he says. ”I had this specific idea where ‘I’m going to be a weirdo, this is how I’m going to promote myself.’ And then of course I ended up getting fired.”

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sweet dye job, bruh

A flip Brando reference from a tortured heartthrob-in-training digging for credibility? Not news. Brando is still the go-to signifier for young actors with more on their mind than making flicks for Fox Atomic. But what Pattinson (and Pierpoint) never ask themselves is Does The Brando Model Still Matter?

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Brando’s Method acting style, originally created by Russian genius Constantin Sanislavski, developed by Lee Strasberg and taught to him by Stella Adler, basically makes no sense today.

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The Method asks that an actor “replicate real life emotional conditions under which the character operates, in an effort to create a life-like, realistic performance.” But so much has changed in modern culture that the approximation of reality, something that feels elemental, is bunk.

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Constantin Stanislavsky: jewelry tight, swagger right

Montgomery Clift is dead. James Dean is dead. Paul Newman is dead. Al Pacino made two movies with Jon Avnet this year. Daniel Day-Lewis will soon costar in a film with Fergie. Nic Cage has hair plugs. Johnny Depp is in the bag for a fourth doff of Captain Jack Sparrow’s fey bandana. And Heath Ledger is dead and might win an Oscar.

america’s greatest method actor Spencer Pratt

In hyper-reality, where critics compare The Hills to Antonioni and all jobs are fake, there is no real to reel. Anything we want to happen can happen. Should there be a show about men who drive trucks on ice for a living? There is! What about professional car-jackers forced to outrun the cops every week? Done! What would people want with recreated scorched earth emotion when they can get REAL Housewives in Atlanta?

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THUG LIFE

And still Pattinson, who seems like a decent enough guy, has got the Method brood going heavy. The symptoms: bedraggled hair, sullen eyes, eye-gouging self-seriousness, time spent in “a band.” He’s got it all, with the faux-self-deprecating Brando namedrop to spare.

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another great american method actor; Rick Ross

In the E.W. story there’s talk of understanding his character—which is a fucking vampire—and making decisions based on WWVD (What Would Vampires Do). To my knowledge, vampires are not real. But for a trained method actor the real is deeper and more dire than whether anyone needs to suck blood from flesh and swallow it to survive.

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So Pattinson and co-star Kristen Stewart (she of the Panic Room debut and disaffected middle-distance stare) altered their characters’ dialogue, the same words written by Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer that inspires mad dashes through mall parking lots, to make a reality that isn’t even possible more real.

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went to sleep real, woke up realer

But changes haven’t offended Meyer too much. She says Pattinson’s portrayal of Edward Cullen is “Oscar-worthy.” Pattinson, for his part, seems pretty shook up and recalls how unsure himself he was throughout most of the shoot and reveals some weak sauce intellectual hedging. It’s all reminiscent of Brando’s creation of Mark Antony in 1953′s Julius Caesar. Of the shoot Pattinson says:

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I didn’t speak for about two months so I would seem really intense. I would only ever talk about the movie. And I kept recommending all these books. It didn’t really work, though. Then I started falling apart and my character started breaking down. I felt like an idiot just following [Stewart] around, saying, ‘You really should read some Zola — and there’s this amazing Truffaut movie.’ And she started calling me on things: ‘Have you actually watched this movie? Yeah? What’s it about?’ ‘It’s about a guy on a train.’ ‘Did you just look at the photo on the cover of the DVD?

So that’s sort of a douche move. But we’ve all been there, recommending something because we know it’s good and right, even if we’ve never seen/read/heard/understood it. Still something about Pattinson smacks false. Ledger, who reportedly pushed himself to the brink portraying the Joker—another fantasy character—in The Dark Knight, was likely the last of a dying breed: actors who dove headlong into roles to their own personal detriment.

When he killed himself last year some chalked it up fatigue after the grueling shoot. In all likelihood, he’s actually going to win an Oscar, which could go two ways: The tragedy might put the kibosh on young Methods with fire in their loins. Then again, Pattinson is playing Salvador Dali (cred-grab!) in 2009′s Little Ashes (mustache not included!). Which sounds, you know, “Oscar-worthy.

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Sean Fennessey is a first time contributor to This Recording.
He blogs at brokedownpalace.tumblr.com

Wish You Would – Ludacris ft. T.I.: (mp3)

One More Drink – Ludacris ft. T-Pain: (mp3)

Last Of A Dying Breed – Ludacris ft. Lil Wayne: (mp3)

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Andy praised Shadows.

Sex tapes should always have a soundtrack.

Fear of sluts guided our every move.

vampire

This Recording Is Vampire Baseball On A Vampire Weekend




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