In Which Project Runway Leaves Us With a Sweet Tooth

 

Running Around Like Idiots

by Tyler Coates 

Project Runway

Week Six

It was a rough two weeks of life without P-Run. I know I should be satisfied because I spent that time celebrating the birth of Our Lord and getting a new iPod, but still.

I spent Christmas vacation with my parents in rural Virginia putting puzzles together and drinking a lot of whiskey. We don’t really talk about pleating so much out there. So, in a nutshell, it’s good to back in civilization where people know who Nina Garcia is.

Unfortunately, I was a little underwhelmed (again!) by last night’s challenge. It seemed like the kind of thing they’d start the season with: usually the first episodes involve people running around like idiots, grabbing plastic bags and pillows and then turning those things into dresses with weird shapes and ugly patterns.

“American Hearts” – A.A. Bondy (mp3)

“Right Where You Are (Hot Chip remix)” – Amp Fiddler (mp3)

“You Sent Me Flying” – Amy Winehouse (mp3)

And here we are, six weeks into P-Run, and this is the dress that won the challenge:

I don’t get it.

And Jillian: bless her heart. She had the brilliant idea to make a can-can dress out of Twizzlers, despite Chris’s (unsolicited and frequent) advice that one should not make clothes out of food.

This is also funny because Chris is fat. You can elaborate with your own fat joke!

Jillian’s concept reminded me of my middle school years, when I took “Technology” and had to make a “trash-bag invention” three years in a row. My final invention was a hamster cage made out of shoe boxes and toilet-paper rolls. It makes as much sense as a dress made out of Twizzlers.

I was torn with the result of last night’s runway. I drew Sweet P’s name out of a hat and now have money on her in my friends’ P-Run pool, but I loved Elisa. But the poor thing jinxed herself when she told the story about how she was hit by a Porsche in London and broke her neck, back, and was in a coma for a couple of days.

A few of my friends immediately responded with, “Ah, that’s what’s wrong with her.” To which I retort: “Her daughter’s name was ‘Calliope‘ before the accident.”

In any case, her dress was ug:

But so was Sweet P’s!

Sweet P should also lose points, in my opinion, for choosing that model, who looked like she could use a couple dozen candy bars before her blood sugar drops.

I’m mostly confused that the two stupid, ugly designs made it into the top two, while the nicest dresses did not. For example, Kevin’s dress was fantastic:

And Ricky! Ricky managed to put something together that really captured the spirit of Hershey’s (or whatever)! And it was sewn correctly! I couldn’t help but notice that Nina seemed really proud.

While Ricky spared my weekly abuse, I will say that last night was proof that Christian is the worst person in the world. And it’s not just the hair:

The thing that really kills me about Christian is that I think he’s super talented, especially for a 21-year-old. The problem is that Christian also thinks that he’s super talented, which gives him a false sense of superiority and a big, fat fucking mouth. I want to string him up with his vests and stuff him full of peanut butter cups.

Tyler Coates is a contributor to This Recording. He blogs at Too Much Awesome.

Elisa, we will miss your crazy.

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING

Kobe made us happier than we have ever been.

Sunday links filled up a father’s day.

Britney shebanged to victory.

Nothing matters, nobody cares, and you are free.