In Which We Play Some Serious Man-Man-Lady D

“Sometimes I’ll Be Talking To The Guy And He Literally Gazes At Me To The Point When I’m Finished With The Question, I Have To Ask Him Again Because it’s Like He’s Literally Lost Himself In Me”

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By Molly Lambert

I can’t really believe anyone’s excited for Californication, mostly because the title alone should doom it, but also because a friend who saw the pilot said it was offensive emosogynist trash. Speaking of schmucky dudes though, how good is Aaron Paul as Sarah’s douchebag boyfriend on Big Love?

lsf
The X Files taught me everything about dramatic/sexual tension

Like many geeklettes my age, I was infatuated with Agent Mulder during a formative section of puberty. I can’t help but identify with any ginger I see, and Scully was no exception. This was also during the brief window of time where I found Jewish men attractive, before the pendulum swung back towards Incredibly White Guys.

kfs
Why do actors always have Lead Singer’s Disease?

I’ve read enough interviews with Duchovny to know that he thinks very highly of himself, used to joke (pre-Leoni) that he was a sex addict, and generally has horrible taste in film scripts. I mean House of D? Trust The Man? That movie where Minnie Driver gets a heart transplant from his dead wife?

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Trust The Man is what happens when old dudes try to make mumblecore. Emotional retardation is no longer so hilariously awkward when you’re middle aged.

Not to mention the way he used to bash The X Files at every opportunity, when my desire to know everything about that show was responsible for my very first forays into the primitive nerd jungle that was the mid-nineties web. Has everyone else noticed that “Early Internet” seems to be the predominant avant-garde art aesthetic these days?

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X-Files x The Simpsons = TV Nerd Heaven

X-philes may not have invented the practice of fan-fiction, but they perfected it. It’s crazy to see how many of those original fan-sites on Geocities, Earthlink, Tripod, Hometown AOL and Angelfire are dead now.

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Man-Man-Lady threesome

I mean, I heard Duchovny’s almost as good at embodying Judd Apatow’s work-based passive-aggression in The TV Set as Paul Rudd was at portraying Judd’s marital passive-aggression in Knocked Up, but this funfact from Wiki tears it for the opposition:

At Princeton, he was a member of the Charter Club, one of the University’s eating clubs, where upperclassmen take their meals. The title of his senior thesis is The Schizophrenic Critique of Pure Reason in Beckett’s Early Novels.

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Eating clubs? Beckett? A TV show about a moody guy in vacuous LA with writer’s block whose name is Hank Moody? Just call me when the next X-Files movie comes out. Oh Christ, somebody wrote a Stanford dissertation about X-Files Fan Fiction, femininity and the post-human body. Couldn’t they find a way to link it to the schizophrenic critique of pure reason?

David Duchovny has a crush on Larry

Three tracks from the High Llamas classic Hawaii

Ill-Fitting Suits – The High Llamas: mp3

Campers In Control – The High Llamas: mp3

Tides – The High Llamas: mp3


“hi, llama”

Molly Lambert is Senior Editor of This Recording. In 8th grade she attended meetings of the X-Files Club with Senior Contributor Tess, though it should be noted that Tess has never enjoyed the show and will go on the record with her statement “Molly, The X-Files is not cool. It’s for losers.”

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