Those of you who know The Pigman will likely remember this morality tale from the earlier version of it. I did a rewrite awhile ago as a friend test. That is, I was not sure I wanted to be friends with anyone who answered this wrong. Read on:
A Husband and Wife live in a house.
the husband works long hours
his wife feels abandoned
every morning when he goes to work
she crosses the bridge in the town that goes over the river
and goes to her Lover.
this doesn’t happen every day
but often enough
she feels guilty about it
“Lovelights” — Viola (mp3)
but she’s lonely
so one day the husband tells his wife that he’s going on a business trip
he’ll be gone for the whole weekend
she begs him not to go
because if he goes
she knows, she’ll go over the bridge
and let the Lover emancipate the bejeezus out of her
She says, “Take me with you.” She knows that if he goes, she’ll go.
He tells her no.
he suspects something may be up
he leaves on the business trip that friday
sure enough, once he’s gone, she goes over the bridge to the Lover’s house.
The husband calls her up on Saturday night, late, and says he’s coming home early
in a panic, she gets her clothes on,
and goes to the bridge to return home.
On the bridge, she sees an Assassin.
She knows if she crosses the bridge, the assassin will kill her.
The only other way to cross the river
is by ferry
She goes down to the Boatman
and she says, “I need to cross the river.”
He says, sure, $40 it’s not the regular fare but there is really nothing regular at all about this
she has no money
she explains the situation
he says, It costs $40
She goes back to the Lover’s house.
She tells him what’s happening, and asks him for $40.
He says, “This is the situation that you got yourself in, and you need to get yourself out of it.”
She begs
“Gravity Grave” — The Verve (mp3)
he refuses to help her
Panicked, she goes back to the bridge.
Despairing, she tries to cross it.
The Assassin strikes her down and kills her.
Now
Please rank, from 1-5, with 1 being the most responsible
and 5 being the least responsible
Who is the most responsible for the Wife’s death
The WIFE, the HUSBAND, the LOVER, the BOATMAN, or THE ASSASSIN? Rank them in order.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Are you doing it?
Edward Albee
Are you doing it?
Now it’s signification time:
according to Edward Albee, who got the story from Greek fishermen, this exercise reveals your values, or what matters most to you in life
LOVER = SEX
WIFE = FUN (fun could also mean contentment)
ASSASSIN = MONEY
BOATMAN = MAGIC (magic could also mean luck)
HUSBAND = LOVE
Danish’s observation:
So magic is in people’s top 5 values..Harry Potter is destroying america
Agreed! According to the spaztastic Will Hubbard:
so i am
1. MONEY
2. MAGIC
3. SEX
4. LOVE
5. FUN
I would say this is pretty accurate, but it needs further translation
MONEY (which really means SEX)
MAGIC (which really means POETRY)
SEX (which really means LOVE)
LOVE (which really means MONEY)
FUN (which really means PORN)
“Fragile, Don’t Crush” — The Softies (mp3)
Hmm. I dunno.
Myself, I don’t really know who to blame anymore, or what I once thought. If I had to say now what I think, I am of the opinion no one is to blame, except perhaps society, or maybe the Jews. I’ll have to keep thinking about this.
This Recording 
the softies are pretty much the best band
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