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from married to the sea
Bloggers and Other Freaks of Nature
by Alex Carnevale
Having dated my share of bloggers, it’s tough to make hard and fast rules about it. The only one I can really come up with is, never date a blogger. Jakob Lodwick learned this the hard way – the disease spreads, and all of sudden you’re telling people you founded collegehumor.com as if it’s something to be proud of…where was I going with this?
It’s a lot easier to blog when you’re not hard on the eyes. That’s why I have created the fictional persona of Molly Lambert to use for my more sensitive musings on the feminine. Just kidding, Molly is all too real (I had to hear about 12,000 words about her broken keyboard last week, and roughly the same amount on the grammys).
Being bff with a bloggeur like Molly comes with its great share of risks. We had a brief falling out that ended with me killing her cat, Keatons.
Still, never has the bloggeur pairing of I and Molly come to the levels of the Josh Stein – excuse me, Joshua David Jew Stein – article in this weekend’s Page Six magazine.
I know. You are so intrigued.
The following schmear piece about the delightful Emily Gould, who somehow tries to allege that Heartbreak Soup was read by only a couple of people – is by turns embarrassing, scandalous, and ridiculous. I admire Stein for entertaining me, I admire Gould for dating him so that he can entertain me.
And it goes on like this!
As someone noted to me, “no one comes out good in this article.” On the other hand, Emily Gould’s fiery good looks will carry her even further, and I kind of enjoyed her YA book, Hex Education.
I saw her read from it with her bff at this bar in BK. It may be selling for $2.62, but this come-what-may story of a daughter of a horror film director moving to the East Coast will sit on my shelf 4eva.
gould
Gould’s Gawker tenure was marred mainly by n+1 hit pieces and her usual sterling writing and hilarious observations. Its ending was a little unsatisfying, although Keith Gessen can be very impactful. He once lent me this Thomas Bernhard novel that eventually led to me joining a Bernhard messageboard. Bastard.
Also, when Keith Gessen sends you flowers, you send him flowers back, goddammit!
We love the accompanying pic of Stein. I am going to start a campaign to get him the lead white role in Blade IV.
he wanted to keep it secret!
Heartbreaksoup is now down (shock!) but it was full of carefully worded tales about cooking for your boyfriend. Hopefully this retrograde feminism never makes its way to the only Gawker blog worth reading, Jezebel.
Stein’s acting like this is the first time a hot girl has blogged about him. Dude, it is an honor. It is like becoming the champion of something. It is the first step to getting a weird picture in the New York Post of yourself in a cardigan, or at least that is what we are learning here.
Um, when Emily Gould tells you you’re the next big thing in her life, you schedule a freakin’ wedding date. What is wrong with men these days? Also, covertly reading people’s gmail is acceptable in these Cloverfield times. Reportedly, it’s how Nick Denton masturbates.
Emily’s alleged post about Josh, in which she differentiates him from other boys, is probably the best thing to happen to Will Hubbard since cutoffs became culturally acceptable.
wait a second…now we see why she got with him
Also, when a fact-checker from Vanity Fair calls you, you tell them everything.
He has a Serge Gainsbourg tattoo on his back? Yikes. That’s like the number one warning sign someone may soon betray you in a feature article in the Post.
“La Chanson de Slogan” – Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg (mp3)
“Requiem for Une Cone (Orb Remix)” – Serge Gainsbourg (mp3)
“Bonnie and Clyde” – Serge Gainsbourg & Brigitte Bardot (mp3)
A friend of mine wrote me this morning to say, “I wish them both happiness in their respective narcissistic endeavors.” Amen.
Alex Carnevale is the editor of This Recording.
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
Tyler on c-c-c-changes.
Johnny Depp has a bonor for Conor Oberst. Bonor copyright Dan Murray 2008
The strange quiet excitement of Frank O’Hara.
gould in happier times
29 Comments so far
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It really was read by a small number of people. Until Josh started linking to it on Gawker.
–REC
Comment by Anonymous February 11, 2008 @ 2:41 pmI was completely unaware of this. I’m a terrible Gawker reader! We’re all supposed to know every intimate detail of the entire staff!
Comment by Tyler February 11, 2008 @ 3:12 pmThis all sounds like a Neil Labute play. One of his excrutiatingly bad ones.
Comment by Jake Sugarman February 11, 2008 @ 3:22 pmWhat does any of this have to do with Julia Allison?
Comment by Ha Ha Sound February 11, 2008 @ 5:43 pm[...] This just about made me break out in hives. Posted by Jackie Danicki | [...]
Pingback by Jackie Danicki » Blogging about relationships in detail: A warning February 11, 2008 @ 6:00 pmEmily is the kind of girl who thinks she’s too cool for the prom but still goes to the prom and then, like, steals someone’s boyfriend and has sex with him on prom night.
Comment by Rachael February 11, 2008 @ 6:08 pmAgreed, Rachael, but what did we think of my Blade IV joke? Not funny?
Comment by alexcarnevale February 11, 2008 @ 7:06 pmRachael– did you go to Blair?
Comment by fatgirl February 11, 2008 @ 8:13 pmJakey, you mean Some Girl(s)? Google the reviews, you won’t regret it.
Comment by Molly Lambert February 12, 2008 @ 4:04 am[...] In Which All in All You’re Just Another Bloggeur In the Wall « This Recording “The only one I can really come up with is, never date a blogger.” This from a man who admits he was more in love with the “idea” of a woman. Oh, now, THERE’S a shocker. (tags: spinsterhood) [...]
Pingback by xoxoANP! » links for 2008-02-12 February 12, 2008 @ 6:26 am[...] enough to convince you that blogging and relationships should never, ever mix, here’s another horror story straight from the blogosphere: Joshua David Stein, formerly of Gawker, recently penned a piece for [...]
Pingback by BOINKOLOGY: Insightful analysis of sex and culture. February 12, 2008 @ 10:03 amIt’s impossible to come across well when the first graf of your essay includes the phrase “collecting impressions of hipsters and editors like rare butterflies.”
p.s. I fear for the first-person relationship essay I’m writing. Must ask at least five people to vet it to guard against public humiliation.
Comment by Danielle February 12, 2008 @ 1:36 pm[...] across this lead to reading this, and then I got to [...]
Pingback by a rational creature » Blog Archive » wreckless love. February 12, 2008 @ 3:06 pm[...] on facebook or myspace you know that they at least have friends. 8. Be wary of bloggers.Don’t date a blogger. Because then they will blog about you. Takes one to know one!9. If you have a fake eye, you may [...]
Pingback by just call me hitch…or bitch » I’m a Jinius February 13, 2008 @ 10:24 am[...] Posts In Which All in All You’re Just Another Bloggeur In the WallIn Which Denton And Diller Oil Wrestle To Be Queen Of E-MediaIn Which Jess Ventures Into The Limited [...]
Pingback by In Which Denton And Diller Oil Wrestle To Be Queen Of E-Media « This Recording February 14, 2008 @ 3:45 pm[...] OverIn Which With A Friend I Can Smile But With a Lover I Could Hold My Head Back And Really LaughIn Which All in All You’re Just Another Bloggeur In the WallIn Which We Are Most Similar At Our Age To Mike PenberthyIn Which We Are All White People NowIn [...]
Pingback by In Which We’re Here To Spit Semiotic Theory And Chew Bubblegum, And We’re All Out Of Bubblegum « This Recording February 19, 2008 @ 6:03 amThis matters so little to anything relevant to anything.
(But I still read the whole thing.)
Comment by fast_hugs February 25, 2008 @ 3:18 pm[...] After the first night Josh and I spent together, I woke up as the sun rose and sat down at my desk to write a post that was nominally about a recent New York Times article about the shelf-life of romantic love. I shudder involuntarily when I read this post now. The commenters loved it. [...]
Pingback by The Will To Blog May 22, 2008 @ 12:41 pm“like warm cream pie on the windowsill…?” seriously?
Comment by eek May 22, 2008 @ 1:11 pmUmmm… Emily Gould is “hot”?
Comment by Drew May 24, 2008 @ 2:43 pm[...] own account of what happened in Page Six magazine, which you can see excerpted in large quantities at This Recording. As I was reading both pieces, it also reminded me of the very public life of Julia Allison, who [...]
Pingback by We live in public — some of the time » mathewingram.com/work | May 25, 2008 @ 10:39 amA display of daunting perspicacity.
Comment by boyo May 25, 2008 @ 5:19 pmSweet extended plug for the Queen’s Hideaway, though. Biscuits!
Comment by Anonymous May 27, 2008 @ 1:51 am@fast hugs. You are so right on. At first I though, who cares? Then I read the whole thing.
Comment by Best Parent Ever May 28, 2008 @ 6:45 pmGreat Blog!
Comment by Tony Zimnoch August 7, 2008 @ 5:02 pm[...] sentido. He encontrado también el artículo completo que escribió con anterioridad su ex-novio Josh Stein para la Page Six Magazine en el que explica como salir con Emily era exponer toda su vida privada a los ojos del mundo. La [...]
Pingback by Kaleidoskopia » Blog Archive » Compartir demasiado en Internet September 6, 2009 @ 9:50 am[...] Soup, chock-full of overheated prose; oh, and someone fucked someone else, and there was a big story about it all, and I totally forgot to care. All of which is to say that when I saw the cover of the magazine [...]
Pingback by I have a confession to make … December 13, 2010 @ 10:21 pm. Be used by many people inside high-heeled sneakers,
Comment by shupra shoes June 4, 2011 @ 8:39 pm[...] media news and gossip” blog, during its heyday a few years ago. Her co-worker spilled the details of their workplace affair to Page Six magazine in February 2008; she told her side of the story to The New York Times [...]
Pingback by and the heart says whatever – no power in the 'verse December 17, 2011 @ 11:57 pm