In Which I Got Married Because I Think I Love My Wife

by Molly Lambert

Dear Mark Ronson,

Okay yes you are sooooo dreamy and seemingly also very talented. And you were engaged to Rashida Jones (Team Karen FTW!) who is apparently now cupcaking with John Krasinski again. Honestly that is such an insanely hot love triangle I could just fantasize aimlessly about it forever and never get bored. I wouldn’t even need to be involved. And I still love the Wino, track marks and all.

Rashida Jones and John Krasinski cupcaking on the couch

But please, never ever remix Bob Dylan again. “Most Likely You’ll Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine” really does not need a funky horn section. I promise. If there’s anything I’ve learned lately, it’s that Dylan covers (like Beatles covers) are nearly impossible to pull off. Even the Bryan Ferry album of Dylan covers is just so-so. Obvz there are plenty of exceptions.

yummmm…mallomars…

I’m just saying. I’m Not There looks like it might be I’m Not Trying Way Too Hard. And the semblance of trying too hard is as un-Bob as it gets. I hope Zimmy Zimmz takes at least some glee in watching so many young guns attempt to scale his mountain and fail so miserably.

“NOPE CAN’T HEAR YOU SRY

Comics I Don’t Understand

Weapons Of Mass Distraction likes the RZA and Ron Paul. Have they met Danish?

Okay HBO here’s my next brilliant pitch you can eventually buy if the AMPTP ever stop being such a bag of dicks. Entourage x (Sex And The City + Girlfriends) x The Sopranos, about Black Men entering middle age, starring Jay-Z and Chris Rock! Capitalize on the success of Why Did I Get Married? and Rock’s Eric Rohmer remake I Think I Love My Wife.

“Privacy is my middle name. My last name is Control. No my first name ain’t baby It’s Janet. Miss Jackson if you’re nasty.”

They pop champagne in jacuzzis, sell out concert halls, and grapple with serious questions about morality, fidelity, prejudice, and whether or not they’ve sold out to the man!

“…then I stuck the weave on her back and called her Supahair. Let me tell you she did not like that.”

I have lots of equally amazing pitches. I won’t scab but don’t sleep on me Hollywood! I write snappy dialogue and I promise not to get caught smuggling magic mushrooms through the Bob Hope Airport!

Speaking of Buppies, here’s Kanye’s video for “Good Morning”, animation by Takashi Murakami, bootlegged by someone brave enough to sneak a camera into MOCA in this post 9/11 world.

Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

GET WEIRD, TURN PRO

Comedy Vlog market saturation growing pains result in sites being shuttered. We always check Funny Or Die and Superdeluxe. Look out for sexy new kid on the street Effin Funny. This clip of Jen Kirkman talking about Female Masturbation made me almost snort soy milk out my nose.

Young Black and Fabulous reviews American Gangster

RE-UPPED has albums from the likes of Slade, Thin Lizzy, Neu! and Doug Sahm.

CUPCAKIN’ GURRRRRRRL

Southland Tales is maybe awesome?

“American cinema is in the grip of a kind of moribund academicism, which helps explain why a fastidiously polished film like “No Country for Old Men” can receive such gushing praise from critics. “Southland Tales” isn’t as smooth and tightly tuned as “No Country,” a film I admire with few reservations. Even so, I would rather watch a young filmmaker like Mr. Kelly reach beyond the obvious, push past his and the audience’s comfort zones, than follow the example of the Coens and elegantly art-direct yet one more murder for your viewing pleasure and mine. Certainly “Southland Tales” has more ideas, visual and intellectual, in a single scene than most American independent films have in their entirety, though that perhaps goes without saying.”

– Ms. Mahnola Dargis

Rashida sings on the grossest Maroon 5 jawn ever (and that is saying a lot)

12 year old Rufus Wainwright singing a song in a Canadian kids’ film called Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler

Dave Chappelle doing stand-up in London: “I was almost rich, bitch. Shoulda took that money. Now I’m in a basement in London somewhere.”

Rashida Jones fan site

Molly Lambert is senior editor of This Recording.

NOT THE PAUL SIMON COVER BUT A STERLING HOT CHIP ORIGINAL THAT YOU SIMPLY MUST DOWNLOAD AND ENJOY

“Graceland (live on MPR)” — Hot Chip (mp3)

something we might sing a long day to come

PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:

Alex’s two part series on essential children’s literature

The first of Will Hubbard’s elegant yet muscular writings about Robert Creeley.

Molly on Half-Nilsson and science to make your heart explode with fear.

8 thoughts on “In Which I Got Married Because I Think I Love My Wife

  1. I disagree completely with the anti-Dylan covers! The I’m Not There soundtrack is totally my shit right now, but there have been several stellar covers in the past. See: Nina Simone’s “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues.”

  2. The I’m Not There soundtrack is the most boring thing ever released. Future Dylan covers should be forcibly limited by the government to “The Man in Me” and “Most of the Time” or whatever the song in High Fidelity is called. Thank you for your time.

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